[Dice follows along, not sure at all where they'll end up. When they emerge from the dense trees onto the cliff, he immediately knows what Gentaro wanted him to see. He's hardly seen a view like this before. He was sheltered, kept at the palace, treated like the outside world would destroy him if he got too far afield. And this is what they kept from him.
He holds Gentaro's hand, and practically clings to his arm like a maiden. He hardly even notices when Gentaro looks at him, because he's starting to crumble again. There's a whole world of possibilities he wouldn't know about if he didn't know Gentaro. There's a world they're going to claim together, the only kind of king Dice could ever have tolerated being. Gentaro is everything.]
Is it strange that I'm afraid of what tomorrow holds? Even though I have you, and I know you'll see to me.
[ Gentaro, however, notices Dice's mood. How cruel, to keep simple pleasures like this from someone. He'd never had a choice. If this is how royalty must be, Gentaro thinks it's a terrible way to live-- but are they truly living?
He doubts it.
His attention is fully on Dice now. With a gentle hand, he turns Dice's face toward his. Looking into his eyes like this, he's reminded of how deeply he loves him. The pink of the sunset is nearly mirrored by Dice's eyes, eyes that have seen much more than is fair. ]
Mm. Tomorrow is always a mystery. We cannot know what the next day will bring us. Even with someone steady, it's natural to feel unsure or afraid.
[ He touches their foreheads together. ]
As long as we are together, I believe with every fiber of my being that we will handle whatever is thrown at us.
[ He wants to kiss him. Here, on the cliff overlooking countless trees, bathed in the sunset's light. He wants to kiss him and never stop kissing him, even while the world burns. But he starts with now. Gentaro holds him close and leans in, claiming his mouth in a gentle kiss. ]
[Somehow, Gentaro won't just tell him things will be fine, things will be wonderful. He acknowledges that they will struggle, but keep moving, and somehow that's the most comforting thing Dice has ever heard.
He makes the softest sound against Gentaro's lips, kissing him back gently and almost timidly. But after a moment of hesitation, he realizes something. He could have gone his entire life without kissing this man, without being able to tell him that he loves him, without being able to be his entirely. And the thought of that almost being stolen from him finally doesn't make him sad, but instead indescribably angry.
No one cared if he was happy. No one wanted what was best for Dice. They wanted a pliant lapdog of a ruler. But now they're never going to touch him again. Gentaro is his king now, his liege and his love. And he kisses him with building ferocity as he resolves this in his heart. No one will take him away from this man again.]
[ He hears that sound, and it draws fire down his spine. Briefly, he wonders if he'll be able to draw any other lovely sounds from him, but only when Dice is ready. He means more to Gentaro than the most precious jewels or the most extravagant necklace. Dice is his; he is Dice's. He'll let Dice decide the pace. Even if it's only kissing, then that's more than enough.
And then Dice's kiss intensifies, and Gentaro's breath hitches. He feels dizzy with desire and happiness as he returns the kiss just as fiercely. Without hesitation, he slides both arms around him, pulling him so close that no space exists between them. Gentaro buries a hand in his hair as he kisses him, again and again.
He's kissing this beautiful, wonderful man, the center of his world. His heart squeezes sweetly, because he's stunningly in love with him.
[Dice wonders how he ever had self-control around Gentaro. He wonders how it took him so long to realize what his feelings meant. He wonders how he ever questioned this feeling, this need and belonging.
His fingers flex against Gentaro's sides, pulling him so close he can feel his warmth as the air around them cools with the twilight. It'll be dark soon, and he'll be able to see stars he never knew existed up in the sky they'll make their own. By starlight, he'll seal all his fears away, guided by the only person he's ever truly needed.
The kiss is getting away from him, heated and almost desperate from Dice's side. He makes gentle, needy sounds against Gentaro's lips, until suddenly he catches that warmth spreading through his whole body. How it makes him feel is still a subject of uncertainty, considering his experiences before were less than pleasant. But somehow, he craves Gentaro making everything right. Even that.]
[ They're so close, intertwined with each other where it's impossible to tell where one begins and the other ends. Gentaro feels like he's burning up. Never has a kiss felt like this, and he wants more and more, wants everything Dice will give him.
And his sounds-- he'll commit them to his memory, now and forever. Dice isn't the only one who's getting desperate. He hadn't realized just how much he'd craved a touch like this, but of course he would. He's yearned for this for so long, for his kiss and arms wound tight around him.
Gentaro takes a deep breath, nudging his nose against Dice's. ]
Mmm. [ He kisses his cheek, just gently. He needs to make sure-- ] It isn't too much, is it?
[He's breathless, almost laughing. He's scared of this, if he's honest with himself, scared of feeling something and trying to actually be loved, but... At the same time he wants it more than he can stand. He wants Gentaro to show him what it means to be loved and cared for and held close.]
Can I ask you a difficult question, though? You don't have to answer it, of course. I realize it's not the time or place to be asking about anyone's history.
[ Gentaro relaxes, and Dice's laughter is ridiculously contagious. He laughs softly, touching their foreheads together. Something's on Dice's mind, and he wants to hear it, whatever it is. So-- he nods. ]
You may ask me anything you'd like, Dice. [ He moves his hands to cup his cheeks. ] I trust you absolutely.
[He blinks at him, and though he wants to look away while he asks this, he finds his resolve and looks right at Gentaro.]
I've never been in love, you know... I know how certain things work, obviously... [Dice flounders a bit, laughing again. It's such a silly, stupid thing to want to know. Gentaro just always made Dice so aware of how naive and sheltered and boring he was compared to Gentaro.] It's... different with someone you love, sometimes, isn't it? Have you been in love before?
[ At that, Gentaro lapses into a quiet, thoughtful silence. He doesn't intend to lie to him. Dice is the one person who he hasn't wanted to lie to. ]
I have been... intimate with a number of people. [ He looks into his eyes, thumbs brushing gently against his cheeks. ] But never have I loved any one of them, nor have I been in love.
[ He kisses his forehead, warmth and affection and love nearly overwhelming him. ]
[He beams, even though his cheeks are a little pink at that response. What did he ever do that allowed him the good fortune to find Gentaro?]
I tried a little too hard to fall in love with... Well. [He's not saying that name; she doesn't deserve another moment's thought from him.] But then I met you, and you've been... everything. If I make you the center of my world, please don't hate me for it.
[ Adorable. Gentaro wants to etch this moment into his memory forever. Gently, he takes one of his hands and presses it to his chest over his heart. Can he feel how much it's racing? ]
I could never hate you. [ He knows Dice's heart, his spirit, the kindness that he's lucky to see. ] I would be a hypocrite if I did.
[ He leans in, kissing him sweetly. He's going to spoil the hell out of Dice, because he's spent his whole life serving others, with nothing returned to him. ]
You are the center of my world as well. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I will do everything in my power to provide.
[Dice can feel Gentaro's heart beat beneath his fingers, and he presses his hand there reverently, trying to memorize the sensation.]
I won't ask for much. [He laughs again.] I say that, but you must think I'm quite the spoiled brat, still, having been what I was.
[Yet, Dice isn't a slouch, and he's feeling inspired right now. He takes Gentaro's hands and moves them wide, then raises one to twirl Gentaro slowly in a courtly little dance.]
I don't want to forget the things that brought me joy. Will you learn from me, too?
I believe you. There are needs and desires that everyone feels. I'll take care of you, Dice.
[ The look on his face is fond, soft, and he lets out a startled little laugh when Dice twirls him and he follows through. For so long, he's been alone, a jaded thief that takes and takes but it's never enough.
This, though-- this. Gentaro thinks he can get used to simple pleasures like this. Dice has such a different perspective, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he can smooth out the rough, jagged edges that Gentaro is made of. ]
I will. [ He's never felt this happy. Looking back on everything, Gentaro realizes that some of his happiest moments have been with Dice. ] As long as you treat me gently.
[ He's teasing him, a playful smile on his lips and mischief in his eyes. ]
How could I be anything but gentle, with someone as beautiful as you?
[He pulls Gentaro close, ready to lead a careful dance, slow and easy to follow.]
Perhaps it won't be horrible to be taken care of. [A smooth step, a slow turn.] To be loved the way I've always wanted to be. [Another step.] To have everything I dreamed of in my arms.
[Here they are, dancing on Gentaro's secluded little cliff as the stars come out and the sun hides from sight. Just the two of them. Dice thinks it would be fine to die in a beautiful moment like this, but he wants to live. He wants to experience and enjoy life with Gentaro, by his side, in his arms. He wants to kiss him every day and feel their bodies close together, to hold his hand and his heart.]
My whole, tiny slice of the world is yours to conquer, my love. You're doing a fine job already.
[ This love is gentle and warm, and Gentaro's almost afraid that he'll do something to break it. But Dice is here, leading him in a dance that he follows, and he knows that nothing will pull them apart. For a few moments, Gentaro is speechless, overwhelmed by everything Dice tells him.
He laughs quietly and fondly. How is it that he manages to make him feel this way? So light and cherished. How lucky is he, that Dice looks at him the way he does and kisses him so thoroughly that it makes him breathless. Gentaro presses closer to him, desperate to feel Dice against him as completely as possible.
Beautiful--Gentaro doesn't know if he'll get used to hearing that. ]
I will be gentle, as well. [ He steals a kiss, squeezing his shoulder. ] And we will take care of each other. My love is yours, Dice. Everything that I am is yours.
[ Another kiss, then another. ]
Conquering is well and good, but I would much rather rule over it with you by my side. I propose a joining of our tiny worlds.
[Dice pulls him close after a few more steps, turning the dance into more of a coordinated swaying in an embrace rather than much of a courtly thing. It's better to be held close, anyway. Better to feel how warm and real Gentaro is, so he won't start thinking this is just a dream. If it is one, he never wants to wake up.]
I'm afraid you're getting the bad end of this deal.
[He returns the kiss gently, carefully at first, as he has before, but it builds into something more heated and meaningful quickly.]
I only wish I had more of a world to offer you. [Softly:] Truthfully, sometimes I dreamed about ruling with you by my side instead. We could have done so much. [He lets himself think too deeply for a moment, and it makes him sad again. His voice wavers, lowering.] Do you think if I'd been stronger, things might've turned out that way? [A sigh.] I am no one and nothing now, besides yours. And while I cherish that thought, I just... I do wonder. Could I have made a difference? The kingdom will collapse under them, or be too miserable to behold. It'll hurt me to see it. But you've already thought about that, haven't you...
[ His heart aches as he listens to Dice. Betrayal is difficult to deal with, and it's still fresh in his heart and mind. For someone like Dice, who's endlessly giving and loving and kind, betrayal cuts even deeper. Gentaro so desperately wishes he could go back, whisk him away, and bring him here before any harm could come to him.
But that's wishful thinking and impossible. So Gentaro focuses on Dice, and he holds him a bit tighter. He wants to blot out every memory of pain, but the only thing he can do is soothe him. ]
Despite my being a thief, I do not wish for excess. You are more than enough to make me happy. You are the most precious treasure I could ever have. [ His voice is firm, but far from harsh. ] The terrible thing about being betrayed by someone you thought you knew and thought loved you is that no matter how strong you are, it always takes you by surprise. Very few people expect those who are closest to them to betray them.
[ He pauses and places a hand against his cheek. ]
I do not doubt you would have been a wonderful king. You would have ruled with kindness and fairness. You did not deserve that, Dice. [ He's seized by a momentary burst of anger, but he doesn't let it show. ] You are far from no one. When you feel lost, you must simply carve out your own path and rely on those who love you to help along the way.
[ ... and to the last. ]
... I have. I don't claim to be a seer who can foresee an outcome. Anything is possible. If one of those options happen, it will be devastating. But you do not have to face it by yourself and carry the burden on your shoulders, because you will not be alone.
[Dice hangs his head for a moment, smiling ruefully.]
You know, I always knew she hated me. I just never knew why. I thought perhaps I could change her mind, at first, but... we see how that went.
[He raises his head again, trying to summon up whatever shreds of pride might be left in his heart.]
Perhaps as I grow stronger, others will grow to love me as well. It's wishful thinking, I know. But it'll serve to keep me moving forward when I feel confused and overwhelmed. At least I will always have you.
[He hopes. He hopes for that most of all.]
Is this place safe? I'd like to lay under the stars for a while. It always soothed me when we would do it before.
[ There are a few things he'd like to say about that woman. While there's no overt reaction to that, his lips form a tight line and his brows pull together slightly. But when Dice keeps talking--
Gentaro smiles, soft and affectionate. He presses a kiss to his lips, endlessly bewitched by this beautiful man. With a gentle touch, he brushes the hair out of his eyes. ]
You will always have me. Never doubt that. I believe in you, Dice. Wishful thinking or not... sometimes, it is up to us to make our wishes come true. [ He squeezes his hand, then takes a seat on the grass. He holds his hand out, already aching to feel Dice against him again. ] Join me. No one will find us here.
[Dice smiles softly, following along and taking Gentaro's hand. He moves close, but rather than lay back to watch the stars side by side flat on the ground, he rests his head on Gentaro's shoulder for a moment.]
It was our special place. I always felt like we were the only people in the world.
[Sighing, he turns his eyes to the sky.]
You made me a better person. A brighter, kinder person.
[ He wraps an arm around his waist, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. It almost feels unreal, like a dream, to hold Dice like this and to kiss him whenever he wishes. He gets to bask in the warmth he radiates, and if Gentaro falls even more, then he welcomes it.
He reaches over to take his hand, delicately holding it as he kisses the back. ]
For this moment, only we exist.
[ It's soft, murmured like a secret. And that admission--it makes his heart flip over. He would be embarrassed if it weren't Dice. ]
Mm. Until we met, it was as if the world was painted in gray and black and white. You brought color into my world, Dice. You gave me something I can never find on my own: a desire to truly live instead of merely existing, passing through life like a ghost. I cannot thank you enough for that.
[Dice falls silent for a moment at that admission. He's never been told anything so lovely, so kind.
He stares up into the sky for a moment, fighting back sudden relieved tears. One live has been changed by him. One single person's life changed because he exists. He feels like he really can keep on living now.]
These stars are ours, now, then. I'm claiming them. They can bear witness to our love and what I'm about to say.
[He reaches up, like he's trying to grab the moon to keep for himself.]
That I, Dice Arisugawa, a mere man, will love you until every last one of them burns out, through this lifetime, the next, and everything that follows.
[ Gentaro's heart feels so full, he feels as if it might burst. No one has ever said these things to him. Why would they, when he's never, ever given himself over to another person? And yet... Dice makes it so easy. As natural as breathing. ]
Dice...
[ He draws in a breath, then reaches up to mirror him. They can take the stars, the moon, everything. He is a thief, after all. But this... It's theirs, and Gentaro will never squander it. This love and happiness feels fragile, but as Dice weaves words into beautiful creations, he thinks it might be less and less brittle. ]
When someone finds their soulmate... nothing will ever keep them apart. Not truly. They are destined to find each other in every lifetime. [ He lowers his hand and touches Dice's cheek, then gently coaxes him to face him. His eyes search his before he smiles and leans in to kiss him deeply. ] This is my oath: I will find you, always and forever, and place my heart and soul into your hands.
[ He kisses him again, like he can't get enough. ]
"I love you" can never encompass the depth of my feelings for you. But I suppose it will have to do. [ Another kiss, for good measure. ] Shall we find a way to capture that feeling and make it something tangible?
[Dice's hand lowers as Gentaro reaches for him, and he fully turns over, looking at him with incredible fondness. With one hand, he strokes Gentaro's hair, propping himself up with the other arm so he can return those generous, gentle kisses. They seem a little less miraculously foreign now, instead striking Dice as right and true.]
Find me in every lifetime, even if it's difficult, even if I don't know what I have when I see it.
[He offers his own kiss. Though he's not sure what Gentaro is suggesting by making things tangible, he smiles against his lips and nods.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He holds Gentaro's hand, and practically clings to his arm like a maiden. He hardly even notices when Gentaro looks at him, because he's starting to crumble again. There's a whole world of possibilities he wouldn't know about if he didn't know Gentaro. There's a world they're going to claim together, the only kind of king Dice could ever have tolerated being. Gentaro is everything.]
Is it strange that I'm afraid of what tomorrow holds? Even though I have you, and I know you'll see to me.
no subject
He doubts it.
His attention is fully on Dice now. With a gentle hand, he turns Dice's face toward his. Looking into his eyes like this, he's reminded of how deeply he loves him. The pink of the sunset is nearly mirrored by Dice's eyes, eyes that have seen much more than is fair. ]
Mm. Tomorrow is always a mystery. We cannot know what the next day will bring us. Even with someone steady, it's natural to feel unsure or afraid.
[ He touches their foreheads together. ]
As long as we are together, I believe with every fiber of my being that we will handle whatever is thrown at us.
[ He wants to kiss him. Here, on the cliff overlooking countless trees, bathed in the sunset's light. He wants to kiss him and never stop kissing him, even while the world burns. But he starts with now. Gentaro holds him close and leans in, claiming his mouth in a gentle kiss. ]
no subject
He makes the softest sound against Gentaro's lips, kissing him back gently and almost timidly. But after a moment of hesitation, he realizes something. He could have gone his entire life without kissing this man, without being able to tell him that he loves him, without being able to be his entirely. And the thought of that almost being stolen from him finally doesn't make him sad, but instead indescribably angry.
No one cared if he was happy. No one wanted what was best for Dice. They wanted a pliant lapdog of a ruler. But now they're never going to touch him again. Gentaro is his king now, his liege and his love. And he kisses him with building ferocity as he resolves this in his heart. No one will take him away from this man again.]
no subject
And then Dice's kiss intensifies, and Gentaro's breath hitches. He feels dizzy with desire and happiness as he returns the kiss just as fiercely. Without hesitation, he slides both arms around him, pulling him so close that no space exists between them. Gentaro buries a hand in his hair as he kisses him, again and again.
He's kissing this beautiful, wonderful man, the center of his world. His heart squeezes sweetly, because he's stunningly in love with him.
no subject
His fingers flex against Gentaro's sides, pulling him so close he can feel his warmth as the air around them cools with the twilight. It'll be dark soon, and he'll be able to see stars he never knew existed up in the sky they'll make their own. By starlight, he'll seal all his fears away, guided by the only person he's ever truly needed.
The kiss is getting away from him, heated and almost desperate from Dice's side. He makes gentle, needy sounds against Gentaro's lips, until suddenly he catches that warmth spreading through his whole body. How it makes him feel is still a subject of uncertainty, considering his experiences before were less than pleasant. But somehow, he craves Gentaro making everything right. Even that.]
Mmm... Gentaro?
no subject
And his sounds-- he'll commit them to his memory, now and forever. Dice isn't the only one who's getting desperate. He hadn't realized just how much he'd craved a touch like this, but of course he would. He's yearned for this for so long, for his kiss and arms wound tight around him.
Gentaro takes a deep breath, nudging his nose against Dice's. ]
Mmm. [ He kisses his cheek, just gently. He needs to make sure-- ] It isn't too much, is it?
no subject
[He's breathless, almost laughing. He's scared of this, if he's honest with himself, scared of feeling something and trying to actually be loved, but... At the same time he wants it more than he can stand. He wants Gentaro to show him what it means to be loved and cared for and held close.]
Can I ask you a difficult question, though? You don't have to answer it, of course. I realize it's not the time or place to be asking about anyone's history.
no subject
You may ask me anything you'd like, Dice. [ He moves his hands to cup his cheeks. ] I trust you absolutely.
no subject
I've never been in love, you know... I know how certain things work, obviously... [Dice flounders a bit, laughing again. It's such a silly, stupid thing to want to know. Gentaro just always made Dice so aware of how naive and sheltered and boring he was compared to Gentaro.] It's... different with someone you love, sometimes, isn't it? Have you been in love before?
no subject
I have been... intimate with a number of people. [ He looks into his eyes, thumbs brushing gently against his cheeks. ] But never have I loved any one of them, nor have I been in love.
[ He kisses his forehead, warmth and affection and love nearly overwhelming him. ]
At least... not until I fell in love with you.
no subject
I tried a little too hard to fall in love with... Well. [He's not saying that name; she doesn't deserve another moment's thought from him.] But then I met you, and you've been... everything. If I make you the center of my world, please don't hate me for it.
no subject
I could never hate you. [ He knows Dice's heart, his spirit, the kindness that he's lucky to see. ] I would be a hypocrite if I did.
[ He leans in, kissing him sweetly. He's going to spoil the hell out of Dice, because he's spent his whole life serving others, with nothing returned to him. ]
You are the center of my world as well. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I will do everything in my power to provide.
no subject
I won't ask for much. [He laughs again.] I say that, but you must think I'm quite the spoiled brat, still, having been what I was.
[Yet, Dice isn't a slouch, and he's feeling inspired right now. He takes Gentaro's hands and moves them wide, then raises one to twirl Gentaro slowly in a courtly little dance.]
I don't want to forget the things that brought me joy. Will you learn from me, too?
no subject
[ The look on his face is fond, soft, and he lets out a startled little laugh when Dice twirls him and he follows through. For so long, he's been alone, a jaded thief that takes and takes but it's never enough.
This, though-- this. Gentaro thinks he can get used to simple pleasures like this. Dice has such a different perspective, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he can smooth out the rough, jagged edges that Gentaro is made of. ]
I will. [ He's never felt this happy. Looking back on everything, Gentaro realizes that some of his happiest moments have been with Dice. ] As long as you treat me gently.
[ He's teasing him, a playful smile on his lips and mischief in his eyes. ]
no subject
[He pulls Gentaro close, ready to lead a careful dance, slow and easy to follow.]
Perhaps it won't be horrible to be taken care of. [A smooth step, a slow turn.] To be loved the way I've always wanted to be. [Another step.] To have everything I dreamed of in my arms.
[Here they are, dancing on Gentaro's secluded little cliff as the stars come out and the sun hides from sight. Just the two of them. Dice thinks it would be fine to die in a beautiful moment like this, but he wants to live. He wants to experience and enjoy life with Gentaro, by his side, in his arms. He wants to kiss him every day and feel their bodies close together, to hold his hand and his heart.]
My whole, tiny slice of the world is yours to conquer, my love. You're doing a fine job already.
no subject
He laughs quietly and fondly. How is it that he manages to make him feel this way? So light and cherished. How lucky is he, that Dice looks at him the way he does and kisses him so thoroughly that it makes him breathless. Gentaro presses closer to him, desperate to feel Dice against him as completely as possible.
Beautiful--Gentaro doesn't know if he'll get used to hearing that. ]
I will be gentle, as well. [ He steals a kiss, squeezing his shoulder. ] And we will take care of each other. My love is yours, Dice. Everything that I am is yours.
[ Another kiss, then another. ]
Conquering is well and good, but I would much rather rule over it with you by my side. I propose a joining of our tiny worlds.
no subject
I'm afraid you're getting the bad end of this deal.
[He returns the kiss gently, carefully at first, as he has before, but it builds into something more heated and meaningful quickly.]
I only wish I had more of a world to offer you. [Softly:] Truthfully, sometimes I dreamed about ruling with you by my side instead. We could have done so much. [He lets himself think too deeply for a moment, and it makes him sad again. His voice wavers, lowering.] Do you think if I'd been stronger, things might've turned out that way? [A sigh.] I am no one and nothing now, besides yours. And while I cherish that thought, I just... I do wonder. Could I have made a difference? The kingdom will collapse under them, or be too miserable to behold. It'll hurt me to see it. But you've already thought about that, haven't you...
no subject
But that's wishful thinking and impossible. So Gentaro focuses on Dice, and he holds him a bit tighter. He wants to blot out every memory of pain, but the only thing he can do is soothe him. ]
Despite my being a thief, I do not wish for excess. You are more than enough to make me happy. You are the most precious treasure I could ever have. [ His voice is firm, but far from harsh. ] The terrible thing about being betrayed by someone you thought you knew and thought loved you is that no matter how strong you are, it always takes you by surprise. Very few people expect those who are closest to them to betray them.
[ He pauses and places a hand against his cheek. ]
I do not doubt you would have been a wonderful king. You would have ruled with kindness and fairness. You did not deserve that, Dice. [ He's seized by a momentary burst of anger, but he doesn't let it show. ] You are far from no one. When you feel lost, you must simply carve out your own path and rely on those who love you to help along the way.
[ ... and to the last. ]
... I have. I don't claim to be a seer who can foresee an outcome. Anything is possible. If one of those options happen, it will be devastating. But you do not have to face it by yourself and carry the burden on your shoulders, because you will not be alone.
You will never be alone, Dice. I swear it.
no subject
You know, I always knew she hated me. I just never knew why. I thought perhaps I could change her mind, at first, but... we see how that went.
[He raises his head again, trying to summon up whatever shreds of pride might be left in his heart.]
Perhaps as I grow stronger, others will grow to love me as well. It's wishful thinking, I know. But it'll serve to keep me moving forward when I feel confused and overwhelmed. At least I will always have you.
[He hopes. He hopes for that most of all.]
Is this place safe? I'd like to lay under the stars for a while. It always soothed me when we would do it before.
no subject
Gentaro smiles, soft and affectionate. He presses a kiss to his lips, endlessly bewitched by this beautiful man. With a gentle touch, he brushes the hair out of his eyes. ]
You will always have me. Never doubt that. I believe in you, Dice. Wishful thinking or not... sometimes, it is up to us to make our wishes come true. [ He squeezes his hand, then takes a seat on the grass. He holds his hand out, already aching to feel Dice against him again. ] Join me. No one will find us here.
[ A pause. ]
I've missed laying under the stars with you.
no subject
It was our special place. I always felt like we were the only people in the world.
[Sighing, he turns his eyes to the sky.]
You made me a better person. A brighter, kinder person.
no subject
He reaches over to take his hand, delicately holding it as he kisses the back. ]
For this moment, only we exist.
[ It's soft, murmured like a secret. And that admission--it makes his heart flip over. He would be embarrassed if it weren't Dice. ]
Mm. Until we met, it was as if the world was painted in gray and black and white. You brought color into my world, Dice. You gave me something I can never find on my own: a desire to truly live instead of merely existing, passing through life like a ghost. I cannot thank you enough for that.
no subject
He stares up into the sky for a moment, fighting back sudden relieved tears. One live has been changed by him. One single person's life changed because he exists. He feels like he really can keep on living now.]
These stars are ours, now, then. I'm claiming them. They can bear witness to our love and what I'm about to say.
[He reaches up, like he's trying to grab the moon to keep for himself.]
That I, Dice Arisugawa, a mere man, will love you until every last one of them burns out, through this lifetime, the next, and everything that follows.
no subject
Dice...
[ He draws in a breath, then reaches up to mirror him. They can take the stars, the moon, everything. He is a thief, after all. But this... It's theirs, and Gentaro will never squander it. This love and happiness feels fragile, but as Dice weaves words into beautiful creations, he thinks it might be less and less brittle. ]
When someone finds their soulmate... nothing will ever keep them apart. Not truly. They are destined to find each other in every lifetime. [ He lowers his hand and touches Dice's cheek, then gently coaxes him to face him. His eyes search his before he smiles and leans in to kiss him deeply. ] This is my oath: I will find you, always and forever, and place my heart and soul into your hands.
[ He kisses him again, like he can't get enough. ]
"I love you" can never encompass the depth of my feelings for you. But I suppose it will have to do. [ Another kiss, for good measure. ] Shall we find a way to capture that feeling and make it something tangible?
no subject
Find me in every lifetime, even if it's difficult, even if I don't know what I have when I see it.
[He offers his own kiss. Though he's not sure what Gentaro is suggesting by making things tangible, he smiles against his lips and nods.]
I'd like that.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)