I believe you. There are needs and desires that everyone feels. I'll take care of you, Dice.
[ The look on his face is fond, soft, and he lets out a startled little laugh when Dice twirls him and he follows through. For so long, he's been alone, a jaded thief that takes and takes but it's never enough.
This, though-- this. Gentaro thinks he can get used to simple pleasures like this. Dice has such a different perspective, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he can smooth out the rough, jagged edges that Gentaro is made of. ]
I will. [ He's never felt this happy. Looking back on everything, Gentaro realizes that some of his happiest moments have been with Dice. ] As long as you treat me gently.
[ He's teasing him, a playful smile on his lips and mischief in his eyes. ]
How could I be anything but gentle, with someone as beautiful as you?
[He pulls Gentaro close, ready to lead a careful dance, slow and easy to follow.]
Perhaps it won't be horrible to be taken care of. [A smooth step, a slow turn.] To be loved the way I've always wanted to be. [Another step.] To have everything I dreamed of in my arms.
[Here they are, dancing on Gentaro's secluded little cliff as the stars come out and the sun hides from sight. Just the two of them. Dice thinks it would be fine to die in a beautiful moment like this, but he wants to live. He wants to experience and enjoy life with Gentaro, by his side, in his arms. He wants to kiss him every day and feel their bodies close together, to hold his hand and his heart.]
My whole, tiny slice of the world is yours to conquer, my love. You're doing a fine job already.
[ This love is gentle and warm, and Gentaro's almost afraid that he'll do something to break it. But Dice is here, leading him in a dance that he follows, and he knows that nothing will pull them apart. For a few moments, Gentaro is speechless, overwhelmed by everything Dice tells him.
He laughs quietly and fondly. How is it that he manages to make him feel this way? So light and cherished. How lucky is he, that Dice looks at him the way he does and kisses him so thoroughly that it makes him breathless. Gentaro presses closer to him, desperate to feel Dice against him as completely as possible.
Beautiful--Gentaro doesn't know if he'll get used to hearing that. ]
I will be gentle, as well. [ He steals a kiss, squeezing his shoulder. ] And we will take care of each other. My love is yours, Dice. Everything that I am is yours.
[ Another kiss, then another. ]
Conquering is well and good, but I would much rather rule over it with you by my side. I propose a joining of our tiny worlds.
[Dice pulls him close after a few more steps, turning the dance into more of a coordinated swaying in an embrace rather than much of a courtly thing. It's better to be held close, anyway. Better to feel how warm and real Gentaro is, so he won't start thinking this is just a dream. If it is one, he never wants to wake up.]
I'm afraid you're getting the bad end of this deal.
[He returns the kiss gently, carefully at first, as he has before, but it builds into something more heated and meaningful quickly.]
I only wish I had more of a world to offer you. [Softly:] Truthfully, sometimes I dreamed about ruling with you by my side instead. We could have done so much. [He lets himself think too deeply for a moment, and it makes him sad again. His voice wavers, lowering.] Do you think if I'd been stronger, things might've turned out that way? [A sigh.] I am no one and nothing now, besides yours. And while I cherish that thought, I just... I do wonder. Could I have made a difference? The kingdom will collapse under them, or be too miserable to behold. It'll hurt me to see it. But you've already thought about that, haven't you...
[ His heart aches as he listens to Dice. Betrayal is difficult to deal with, and it's still fresh in his heart and mind. For someone like Dice, who's endlessly giving and loving and kind, betrayal cuts even deeper. Gentaro so desperately wishes he could go back, whisk him away, and bring him here before any harm could come to him.
But that's wishful thinking and impossible. So Gentaro focuses on Dice, and he holds him a bit tighter. He wants to blot out every memory of pain, but the only thing he can do is soothe him. ]
Despite my being a thief, I do not wish for excess. You are more than enough to make me happy. You are the most precious treasure I could ever have. [ His voice is firm, but far from harsh. ] The terrible thing about being betrayed by someone you thought you knew and thought loved you is that no matter how strong you are, it always takes you by surprise. Very few people expect those who are closest to them to betray them.
[ He pauses and places a hand against his cheek. ]
I do not doubt you would have been a wonderful king. You would have ruled with kindness and fairness. You did not deserve that, Dice. [ He's seized by a momentary burst of anger, but he doesn't let it show. ] You are far from no one. When you feel lost, you must simply carve out your own path and rely on those who love you to help along the way.
[ ... and to the last. ]
... I have. I don't claim to be a seer who can foresee an outcome. Anything is possible. If one of those options happen, it will be devastating. But you do not have to face it by yourself and carry the burden on your shoulders, because you will not be alone.
[Dice hangs his head for a moment, smiling ruefully.]
You know, I always knew she hated me. I just never knew why. I thought perhaps I could change her mind, at first, but... we see how that went.
[He raises his head again, trying to summon up whatever shreds of pride might be left in his heart.]
Perhaps as I grow stronger, others will grow to love me as well. It's wishful thinking, I know. But it'll serve to keep me moving forward when I feel confused and overwhelmed. At least I will always have you.
[He hopes. He hopes for that most of all.]
Is this place safe? I'd like to lay under the stars for a while. It always soothed me when we would do it before.
[ There are a few things he'd like to say about that woman. While there's no overt reaction to that, his lips form a tight line and his brows pull together slightly. But when Dice keeps talking--
Gentaro smiles, soft and affectionate. He presses a kiss to his lips, endlessly bewitched by this beautiful man. With a gentle touch, he brushes the hair out of his eyes. ]
You will always have me. Never doubt that. I believe in you, Dice. Wishful thinking or not... sometimes, it is up to us to make our wishes come true. [ He squeezes his hand, then takes a seat on the grass. He holds his hand out, already aching to feel Dice against him again. ] Join me. No one will find us here.
[Dice smiles softly, following along and taking Gentaro's hand. He moves close, but rather than lay back to watch the stars side by side flat on the ground, he rests his head on Gentaro's shoulder for a moment.]
It was our special place. I always felt like we were the only people in the world.
[Sighing, he turns his eyes to the sky.]
You made me a better person. A brighter, kinder person.
[ He wraps an arm around his waist, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. It almost feels unreal, like a dream, to hold Dice like this and to kiss him whenever he wishes. He gets to bask in the warmth he radiates, and if Gentaro falls even more, then he welcomes it.
He reaches over to take his hand, delicately holding it as he kisses the back. ]
For this moment, only we exist.
[ It's soft, murmured like a secret. And that admission--it makes his heart flip over. He would be embarrassed if it weren't Dice. ]
Mm. Until we met, it was as if the world was painted in gray and black and white. You brought color into my world, Dice. You gave me something I can never find on my own: a desire to truly live instead of merely existing, passing through life like a ghost. I cannot thank you enough for that.
[Dice falls silent for a moment at that admission. He's never been told anything so lovely, so kind.
He stares up into the sky for a moment, fighting back sudden relieved tears. One live has been changed by him. One single person's life changed because he exists. He feels like he really can keep on living now.]
These stars are ours, now, then. I'm claiming them. They can bear witness to our love and what I'm about to say.
[He reaches up, like he's trying to grab the moon to keep for himself.]
That I, Dice Arisugawa, a mere man, will love you until every last one of them burns out, through this lifetime, the next, and everything that follows.
[ Gentaro's heart feels so full, he feels as if it might burst. No one has ever said these things to him. Why would they, when he's never, ever given himself over to another person? And yet... Dice makes it so easy. As natural as breathing. ]
Dice...
[ He draws in a breath, then reaches up to mirror him. They can take the stars, the moon, everything. He is a thief, after all. But this... It's theirs, and Gentaro will never squander it. This love and happiness feels fragile, but as Dice weaves words into beautiful creations, he thinks it might be less and less brittle. ]
When someone finds their soulmate... nothing will ever keep them apart. Not truly. They are destined to find each other in every lifetime. [ He lowers his hand and touches Dice's cheek, then gently coaxes him to face him. His eyes search his before he smiles and leans in to kiss him deeply. ] This is my oath: I will find you, always and forever, and place my heart and soul into your hands.
[ He kisses him again, like he can't get enough. ]
"I love you" can never encompass the depth of my feelings for you. But I suppose it will have to do. [ Another kiss, for good measure. ] Shall we find a way to capture that feeling and make it something tangible?
[Dice's hand lowers as Gentaro reaches for him, and he fully turns over, looking at him with incredible fondness. With one hand, he strokes Gentaro's hair, propping himself up with the other arm so he can return those generous, gentle kisses. They seem a little less miraculously foreign now, instead striking Dice as right and true.]
Find me in every lifetime, even if it's difficult, even if I don't know what I have when I see it.
[He offers his own kiss. Though he's not sure what Gentaro is suggesting by making things tangible, he smiles against his lips and nods.]
[ Gentaro feels the same; kissing Dice does still feel somewhat surreal, but that's starting to ebb away. Instead, he lets him fall into him, allowing the waves of gentle love and affection crashing over him. ]
Always. And we will sweep each other off our feet.
[ The hand in his hair feels divine. Gentaro sighs into the kiss, and while he feels that spark of desire again, he holds back. Instead, he kisses him again and again, mesmerized by how Dice looks in the moonlight. He's so beautiful, so precious, and his.
Wrapped up in his own thoughts, Gentaro's breath catches just that softest bit. He didn't know being kissed like this could affect him so much, but Dice makes him feel things he never thought possible.
He reaches up to curl a hand around the back of Dice's neck, holding him as he pulls away and tries to catch his breath. ]
[How he once again wishes, at that comment, that he had all the resources and trappings of a king, if only because Gentaro deserves to be crowned with everything wonderful in this world. Thief or not, he's a gentleman in his own way, kind and more reliable than the very moon and stars they're under. He wants to sweep him off his feet in all the ways he used to be able to, all the efforts he wasted on someone who never wanted to give him a chance.
In the next lifetime, he swears he'll find Gentaro first, and he will give him the entire world on a silver platter.
If he could kiss him until the end of this life, he would. Gentaro feels so perfectly meant for him that he's not wholly convinced this isn't what he was born for. Maybe he was meant to become a rogue.
He buries his fingers in Gentaro's hair at the little hitch in Gentaro's breath, and he's barely able to stop himself from kissing him again when he pulls away to breathe. But no one ever said he couldn't do something else. He sets to kissing Gentaro's face, sweetly and softly, first his cheek, then his forehead, his closed eyelids and his temples; the tip of his nose, with a little huff of mirth. Dice only takes his hand out of Gentaro's hair long enough to guide Gentaro's hand up into his long blue locks.]
[ No one treats him like this. It's not that he's had unpleasant experiences. Rather, it had just been a way to blow off steam. But just this makes him feel alight, makes him crave more and more.
Everything Dice offers so sweetly, just like those soft kisses, he'll gladly take.
Gentaro follows his lead, sinking his hand into his hair. He opens his eyes, feeling a pretty flush spread across his cheeks as he looks up at him. Dice can ask anything, and Gentaro will happily answer. ]
Mmm. [ He kisses him again, running his fingers through his hair. ] Of course. [ And teasingly, in that affectionate way-- ] What could be on your mind, Dice?
[Dice feels dangerously seen in that moment, and he wonders if Gentaro might have some kind of mind-reading magic. Of course, he's always thought things like that were mere superstition, but Gentaro's observation skills always have been uncanny...]
When the time is right...
[He hesitates, cheeks flushing, smile going just a touch embarrassed. Steeling himself, he cards his fingers through Gentaro's hair over and over again. The man is beautiful, exquisite, perfect, everything he ever dreamed might look at him with such an expression. It makes him feel things he's never felt before, a sort of attraction he can't put a name to.
He doesn't even know how to say this.]
...Will you...
[Nope. No. Abort. He ducks his head against Gentaro's chest and curses faintly, something he hardly ever does. He just can't say it.]
[ The thing is, Dice is very easy to read. So-- he has a suspicion about what he wants to ask. It's impossible to ignore the heat that's been building between them.
It's actually kind of cute, how flustered and tongue-tied he is. Gentaro hums softly, playing with his hair before he rolls Dice onto his back and hovers above him.
Leaning down, he touches their foreheads together. ]
You are safe with me. I know it is difficult for you, but I will never judge you for anything you desire.
[The pathetic thing is it's not like he's never thought about or done it before. Obviously. But he's so hesitant to put things into words that might undo the beautiful spell on them cast by Gentaro's generous affection and Dice's cautiously offered vulnerability.
He's on his back before he knows it, eyes widening, cheeks looking a touch pink even under the dim light of the moon. Then Gentaro is close, and Dice closes his eyes, steeling himself as his voice comes out in little more than a murmur.]
I desire you. [A sigh.] So when the time is right... I want to be with you physically, as well.
[Yeah, king of romance he was not. But frankly it's not his fault. Blame everyone who tiptoed around it and made it a utility.]
You know, in stories I read, in books... it always seemed so magical, so beautiful. Yet I've never experienced it that way at all, though I did try.
[ So his suspicions were correct. Actually hearing it... that's much different. Gentaro's breath catches softly, nearly overwhelmed by what Dice tells him.
He loves him. He loves him so, so much. Gentaro wants to drown him in pleasure and love, to show Dice what he deserves. His hands find his, and he interwines their fingers.
He presses a soft kiss to his lips, and when he speaks, his voice is just a touch lower, rougher. ]
Then, let's write our own fairy tale. When the time comes, when you are ready, I will make sure you never forget what it feels like to be loved so thoroughly.
[ He squeezes his hand gently, gazing into his eyes like Dice is the only person that matters. ]
I will follow your lead, so when you decided the right time, I will gladly show you how much I desire you.
[Dice's face is burning, but he doesn't want to look away. Gentaro is generously giving him the courage to face things he never thought possible. He won't turn his nose up at that, or take it for granted. The way Gentaro looks and sounds right now is doing dangerous things to poor Dice.]
Me?
[Smooth answer. So smooth. Like he's not the guy Gentaro has pinned to the secluded little forest floor.]
[ He says it so easily, too. It makes his heart ache that Dice is struck by disbelief, because as far as Gentaro is concerned, anyone would be lucky to have him.
He's beautiful, kind, charming, thoughtful-- Gentaro could go on and on, but he doesn't. Not yet. ]
Why do you think I enjoy kissing you so much?
[ And to emphasize that, he kisses him again, this time with just the barest touch of heat. ]
[Dice makes a muffled little sound of surprise at the kiss, though he knows he shouldn't be shocked. It's less disbelief that someone could possibly find him that attractive and more disbelief at Gentaro's enthusiasm, and how utterly convinced he is.
Dice wraps his arms around Gentaro, then slides his hands into his lover's hair. He still worries that this is a dream, or that something will come between them, but that's a lingering fear built on the back of his betrayal only a handful of days ago. He'll have this fear for a while. He'll wake and cling to Gentaro in the small hours of the morning, he'll stare at him for sleepless hours every night.
But he'll also be loved by him, indescribably beautifully.
So he kisses him back as if to invite more, parting his lips and hooking a leg around one of Gentaro's.]
Is it wrong that I want your lips to grace every inch of my skin?
[ Dice allowing him in like this is magical, even in the wake of betrayal. Here they are, underneath a blanket of stars, wrapped up in each other. Gentaro can't imagine a more wonderful moment. He's already so affected by Dice and how he feels that when he parts his lips and wraps his leg around him and says that--
Gentaro groans softly and grips the back of his thigh. Tentatively, he rolls his hips against Dice, and even this feels so, so good. ]
Is that so? [ he murmurs, running his tongue along his bottom lip. It doesn't last long, though; Gentaro trails kisses along his jaw, down to his neck, kissing right over his pulse. ] I would very much like to indulge you, since you're so eager.
[ That eagerness is beautiful, and even if Gentaro could resist, he wouldn't. ]
[He doesn't expect the vocal reaction nor the rolling of hips, and it shows in the way his entire body shivers. He opens his mouth to speak, but he can't get anything out with Gentaro kissing him like that. It wasn't as though he expected the man to go through with it suddenly!
Not that he hates it. Not that he dislikes it in the least. He likes feeling like Gentaro has him pinned, like he's being commanded and kept. It feels safe with Gentaro.
Carefully, he composes himself, eyes closing so he can focus on how this feels. Then he presses his hips against Gentaro's gently, but firmly. Carefully. When he speaks, it's strained and quiet, but not afraid.]
[ Against his neck, Gentaro laughs, low and husky. ]
Mm, you figured me out. [ He brushes a line of kisses along his jaw to his ear, and he breathes hotly into it. ] I will have to reward you.
[ But he pulls back, and it takes everything in him to not rock more firmly against Dice, to match the movement of his hips. He needs to know for sure, because if there's any hesitation... Well. Either way, he cups his cheek, looking at him seriously. ]
But I want to make absolutely certain that you want this. If you think we're moving too fast, I will respect that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ The look on his face is fond, soft, and he lets out a startled little laugh when Dice twirls him and he follows through. For so long, he's been alone, a jaded thief that takes and takes but it's never enough.
This, though-- this. Gentaro thinks he can get used to simple pleasures like this. Dice has such a different perspective, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he can smooth out the rough, jagged edges that Gentaro is made of. ]
I will. [ He's never felt this happy. Looking back on everything, Gentaro realizes that some of his happiest moments have been with Dice. ] As long as you treat me gently.
[ He's teasing him, a playful smile on his lips and mischief in his eyes. ]
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[He pulls Gentaro close, ready to lead a careful dance, slow and easy to follow.]
Perhaps it won't be horrible to be taken care of. [A smooth step, a slow turn.] To be loved the way I've always wanted to be. [Another step.] To have everything I dreamed of in my arms.
[Here they are, dancing on Gentaro's secluded little cliff as the stars come out and the sun hides from sight. Just the two of them. Dice thinks it would be fine to die in a beautiful moment like this, but he wants to live. He wants to experience and enjoy life with Gentaro, by his side, in his arms. He wants to kiss him every day and feel their bodies close together, to hold his hand and his heart.]
My whole, tiny slice of the world is yours to conquer, my love. You're doing a fine job already.
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He laughs quietly and fondly. How is it that he manages to make him feel this way? So light and cherished. How lucky is he, that Dice looks at him the way he does and kisses him so thoroughly that it makes him breathless. Gentaro presses closer to him, desperate to feel Dice against him as completely as possible.
Beautiful--Gentaro doesn't know if he'll get used to hearing that. ]
I will be gentle, as well. [ He steals a kiss, squeezing his shoulder. ] And we will take care of each other. My love is yours, Dice. Everything that I am is yours.
[ Another kiss, then another. ]
Conquering is well and good, but I would much rather rule over it with you by my side. I propose a joining of our tiny worlds.
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I'm afraid you're getting the bad end of this deal.
[He returns the kiss gently, carefully at first, as he has before, but it builds into something more heated and meaningful quickly.]
I only wish I had more of a world to offer you. [Softly:] Truthfully, sometimes I dreamed about ruling with you by my side instead. We could have done so much. [He lets himself think too deeply for a moment, and it makes him sad again. His voice wavers, lowering.] Do you think if I'd been stronger, things might've turned out that way? [A sigh.] I am no one and nothing now, besides yours. And while I cherish that thought, I just... I do wonder. Could I have made a difference? The kingdom will collapse under them, or be too miserable to behold. It'll hurt me to see it. But you've already thought about that, haven't you...
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But that's wishful thinking and impossible. So Gentaro focuses on Dice, and he holds him a bit tighter. He wants to blot out every memory of pain, but the only thing he can do is soothe him. ]
Despite my being a thief, I do not wish for excess. You are more than enough to make me happy. You are the most precious treasure I could ever have. [ His voice is firm, but far from harsh. ] The terrible thing about being betrayed by someone you thought you knew and thought loved you is that no matter how strong you are, it always takes you by surprise. Very few people expect those who are closest to them to betray them.
[ He pauses and places a hand against his cheek. ]
I do not doubt you would have been a wonderful king. You would have ruled with kindness and fairness. You did not deserve that, Dice. [ He's seized by a momentary burst of anger, but he doesn't let it show. ] You are far from no one. When you feel lost, you must simply carve out your own path and rely on those who love you to help along the way.
[ ... and to the last. ]
... I have. I don't claim to be a seer who can foresee an outcome. Anything is possible. If one of those options happen, it will be devastating. But you do not have to face it by yourself and carry the burden on your shoulders, because you will not be alone.
You will never be alone, Dice. I swear it.
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You know, I always knew she hated me. I just never knew why. I thought perhaps I could change her mind, at first, but... we see how that went.
[He raises his head again, trying to summon up whatever shreds of pride might be left in his heart.]
Perhaps as I grow stronger, others will grow to love me as well. It's wishful thinking, I know. But it'll serve to keep me moving forward when I feel confused and overwhelmed. At least I will always have you.
[He hopes. He hopes for that most of all.]
Is this place safe? I'd like to lay under the stars for a while. It always soothed me when we would do it before.
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Gentaro smiles, soft and affectionate. He presses a kiss to his lips, endlessly bewitched by this beautiful man. With a gentle touch, he brushes the hair out of his eyes. ]
You will always have me. Never doubt that. I believe in you, Dice. Wishful thinking or not... sometimes, it is up to us to make our wishes come true. [ He squeezes his hand, then takes a seat on the grass. He holds his hand out, already aching to feel Dice against him again. ] Join me. No one will find us here.
[ A pause. ]
I've missed laying under the stars with you.
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It was our special place. I always felt like we were the only people in the world.
[Sighing, he turns his eyes to the sky.]
You made me a better person. A brighter, kinder person.
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He reaches over to take his hand, delicately holding it as he kisses the back. ]
For this moment, only we exist.
[ It's soft, murmured like a secret. And that admission--it makes his heart flip over. He would be embarrassed if it weren't Dice. ]
Mm. Until we met, it was as if the world was painted in gray and black and white. You brought color into my world, Dice. You gave me something I can never find on my own: a desire to truly live instead of merely existing, passing through life like a ghost. I cannot thank you enough for that.
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He stares up into the sky for a moment, fighting back sudden relieved tears. One live has been changed by him. One single person's life changed because he exists. He feels like he really can keep on living now.]
These stars are ours, now, then. I'm claiming them. They can bear witness to our love and what I'm about to say.
[He reaches up, like he's trying to grab the moon to keep for himself.]
That I, Dice Arisugawa, a mere man, will love you until every last one of them burns out, through this lifetime, the next, and everything that follows.
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Dice...
[ He draws in a breath, then reaches up to mirror him. They can take the stars, the moon, everything. He is a thief, after all. But this... It's theirs, and Gentaro will never squander it. This love and happiness feels fragile, but as Dice weaves words into beautiful creations, he thinks it might be less and less brittle. ]
When someone finds their soulmate... nothing will ever keep them apart. Not truly. They are destined to find each other in every lifetime. [ He lowers his hand and touches Dice's cheek, then gently coaxes him to face him. His eyes search his before he smiles and leans in to kiss him deeply. ] This is my oath: I will find you, always and forever, and place my heart and soul into your hands.
[ He kisses him again, like he can't get enough. ]
"I love you" can never encompass the depth of my feelings for you. But I suppose it will have to do. [ Another kiss, for good measure. ] Shall we find a way to capture that feeling and make it something tangible?
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Find me in every lifetime, even if it's difficult, even if I don't know what I have when I see it.
[He offers his own kiss. Though he's not sure what Gentaro is suggesting by making things tangible, he smiles against his lips and nods.]
I'd like that.
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Always. And we will sweep each other off our feet.
[ The hand in his hair feels divine. Gentaro sighs into the kiss, and while he feels that spark of desire again, he holds back. Instead, he kisses him again and again, mesmerized by how Dice looks in the moonlight. He's so beautiful, so precious, and his.
Wrapped up in his own thoughts, Gentaro's breath catches just that softest bit. He didn't know being kissed like this could affect him so much, but Dice makes him feel things he never thought possible.
He reaches up to curl a hand around the back of Dice's neck, holding him as he pulls away and tries to catch his breath. ]
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In the next lifetime, he swears he'll find Gentaro first, and he will give him the entire world on a silver platter.
If he could kiss him until the end of this life, he would. Gentaro feels so perfectly meant for him that he's not wholly convinced this isn't what he was born for. Maybe he was meant to become a rogue.
He buries his fingers in Gentaro's hair at the little hitch in Gentaro's breath, and he's barely able to stop himself from kissing him again when he pulls away to breathe. But no one ever said he couldn't do something else. He sets to kissing Gentaro's face, sweetly and softly, first his cheek, then his forehead, his closed eyelids and his temples; the tip of his nose, with a little huff of mirth. Dice only takes his hand out of Gentaro's hair long enough to guide Gentaro's hand up into his long blue locks.]
May I ask something else of you?
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[ No one treats him like this. It's not that he's had unpleasant experiences. Rather, it had just been a way to blow off steam. But just this makes him feel alight, makes him crave more and more.
Everything Dice offers so sweetly, just like those soft kisses, he'll gladly take.
Gentaro follows his lead, sinking his hand into his hair. He opens his eyes, feeling a pretty flush spread across his cheeks as he looks up at him. Dice can ask anything, and Gentaro will happily answer. ]
Mmm. [ He kisses him again, running his fingers through his hair. ] Of course. [ And teasingly, in that affectionate way-- ] What could be on your mind, Dice?
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When the time is right...
[He hesitates, cheeks flushing, smile going just a touch embarrassed. Steeling himself, he cards his fingers through Gentaro's hair over and over again. The man is beautiful, exquisite, perfect, everything he ever dreamed might look at him with such an expression. It makes him feel things he's never felt before, a sort of attraction he can't put a name to.
He doesn't even know how to say this.]
...Will you...
[Nope. No. Abort. He ducks his head against Gentaro's chest and curses faintly, something he hardly ever does. He just can't say it.]
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It's actually kind of cute, how flustered and tongue-tied he is. Gentaro hums softly, playing with his hair before he rolls Dice onto his back and hovers above him.
Leaning down, he touches their foreheads together. ]
You are safe with me. I know it is difficult for you, but I will never judge you for anything you desire.
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He's on his back before he knows it, eyes widening, cheeks looking a touch pink even under the dim light of the moon. Then Gentaro is close, and Dice closes his eyes, steeling himself as his voice comes out in little more than a murmur.]
I desire you. [A sigh.] So when the time is right... I want to be with you physically, as well.
[Yeah, king of romance he was not. But frankly it's not his fault. Blame everyone who tiptoed around it and made it a utility.]
You know, in stories I read, in books... it always seemed so magical, so beautiful. Yet I've never experienced it that way at all, though I did try.
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He loves him. He loves him so, so much. Gentaro wants to drown him in pleasure and love, to show Dice what he deserves. His hands find his, and he interwines their fingers.
He presses a soft kiss to his lips, and when he speaks, his voice is just a touch lower, rougher. ]
Then, let's write our own fairy tale. When the time comes, when you are ready, I will make sure you never forget what it feels like to be loved so thoroughly.
[ He squeezes his hand gently, gazing into his eyes like Dice is the only person that matters. ]
I will follow your lead, so when you decided the right time, I will gladly show you how much I desire you.
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Me?
[Smooth answer. So smooth. Like he's not the guy Gentaro has pinned to the secluded little forest floor.]
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[ He says it so easily, too. It makes his heart ache that Dice is struck by disbelief, because as far as Gentaro is concerned, anyone would be lucky to have him.
He's beautiful, kind, charming, thoughtful-- Gentaro could go on and on, but he doesn't. Not yet. ]
Why do you think I enjoy kissing you so much?
[ And to emphasize that, he kisses him again, this time with just the barest touch of heat. ]
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Dice wraps his arms around Gentaro, then slides his hands into his lover's hair. He still worries that this is a dream, or that something will come between them, but that's a lingering fear built on the back of his betrayal only a handful of days ago. He'll have this fear for a while. He'll wake and cling to Gentaro in the small hours of the morning, he'll stare at him for sleepless hours every night.
But he'll also be loved by him, indescribably beautifully.
So he kisses him back as if to invite more, parting his lips and hooking a leg around one of Gentaro's.]
Is it wrong that I want your lips to grace every inch of my skin?
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Gentaro groans softly and grips the back of his thigh. Tentatively, he rolls his hips against Dice, and even this feels so, so good. ]
Is that so? [ he murmurs, running his tongue along his bottom lip. It doesn't last long, though; Gentaro trails kisses along his jaw, down to his neck, kissing right over his pulse. ] I would very much like to indulge you, since you're so eager.
[ That eagerness is beautiful, and even if Gentaro could resist, he wouldn't. ]
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Not that he hates it. Not that he dislikes it in the least. He likes feeling like Gentaro has him pinned, like he's being commanded and kept. It feels safe with Gentaro.
Carefully, he composes himself, eyes closing so he can focus on how this feels. Then he presses his hips against Gentaro's gently, but firmly. Carefully. When he speaks, it's strained and quiet, but not afraid.]
I think you're the one who's eager to ruin me.
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Mm, you figured me out. [ He brushes a line of kisses along his jaw to his ear, and he breathes hotly into it. ] I will have to reward you.
[ But he pulls back, and it takes everything in him to not rock more firmly against Dice, to match the movement of his hips. He needs to know for sure, because if there's any hesitation... Well. Either way, he cups his cheek, looking at him seriously. ]
But I want to make absolutely certain that you want this. If you think we're moving too fast, I will respect that.
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