[It takes Dice a while to come back to himself after that, though the kisses certainly help. They make him feel like he's being wrapped up in Gentaro's affection, like it won't wane, and it truly isn't a lie. He can't see this man as anything but his savior now.
At Gentaro's priase, Dice curls into himself a bit, whining and mildly cursing. It's not fair for Gentaro to be this hot, frankly. It throws Dice for a loop, still. He's not crying, but he's a mess of emotions right now, most of them good, except the occasional moment of lamentation that Gentaro isn't his only intimate experience. How lovely it would have been to be loved like this these past few years, instead.
He wants him to keep going, even if this is uncharted territory, because he's no longer afraid Gentaro will look down on him or abandon him for the slightest error. His beloved has confirmed it over and over, in action and in words, and Dice feels like he can finally let go. As his breathing calms, he reaches to thread his fingers into Gentaro's hair.]
It makes him angry, too, but his expression betrays none of that. Instead, he presses kisses to his forehead, cheeks, his lips. He doesn't want to show his anger and spoil tonight. So, he focuses on Dice, on showering him in love and affection.
Just like a cat, he hums and leans into the touch. Gentaro nuzzles against his palm and traces idle patterns against his chest. ]
Mmm. Would you believe me if I said it can feel even better? [ His expression darkens; it's still gentle and affectionate, but maybe with a touch of wickedness. ] I have quite a few things I'd like to do with you.
[All he knows is that Gentaro is pleased, so he's doing this right. Well... Honestly, he's not doing much. He's aware of that. But it's fine, because it's making Gentaro happy, and it feels amazing. It can't be wrong, then.
He can't help basking in the depth of Gentaro's affection, his cat-like curiosity and reciprocation. It's beautiful. It makes Dice feel at home. He smiles broadly, though softly, as he's still coming down from his orgasm.
Oh. But that's... tempting.]
I believe you, because it's you. [A little laugh.] You'll show me everything, won't you? Show me how to... [The blush is back.] How to do things the way you like them.
[ His anger ebbs away at Dice's faith in him, at his earnest, honest request. The blush on his cheeks is lovely, and Gentaro feels a swell of pride at causing it. With a soft laugh, he nods. ]
I will, yes. You'd best be an excellent student. I'll be very thorough with your lessons, Dice.
[ He's never, ever felt like this. As he gazes down at Dice, all heat and love and fondness, he thinks, finally, this is what it's like to be truly happy. ]
We will find what you like, as well. I am hardly the type of lover to take and not give, after all.
[But he stops himself from this entirely automatic answer. Because suddenly he's not sure that he's not sure if he'll ever like this. He's actually currently convinced that he really has been doing it entirely wrong this whole time. This, like so many other things, may well become miraculous when associated with Gentaro. And if it's possible to feel even better, well, he'll do absolutely anything Gentaro asks, wants, needs, or suggests of him.
He shakes his head, smiling.]
No. I'd like that. I want to make you happy, Gentaro, but I really wouldn't mind taking a little happiness for myself.
[He leans in to kiss him, softly at first, but with an echo of the heat Gentaro introduced him to earlier. This is bliss, and even if every day following today is the hardest training and fiercest trial Dice has ever been through, he'll still have tonight. He sighs happily against Gentaro's lips.]
Gentaro knows that it's simply the way Dice is; like himself, Dice wants to make people happy. But Gentaro's never heard it spoken so frankly. He isn't sure he could be happier, really, but he's willing to test that theory.
He's about to respond, and then Dice tells him, against his mouth, that no one, except for him, will ever have him. Gentaro's breath catches. He kisses him deeply, desperately, and he holds him close, so close, so nothing ever comes between them ever again.
To think that a few words would make him so wildly emotional. Gentaro wants to keep kissing him until neither of them can breathe, but he pulls back. There's an affected expression on his face: He's overwhelmed with love, and he's more than willing to drown in it. ]
No one else will have me, either.
[ Because they haven't, not since he'd realized he loved Dice. He hadn't been able to bear putting himself in another's hands, because every time he thought of going to another, it had always been Dice he'd seen. ]
I have been yours since the moment we first watched the stars together.
[ Maybe that had been his first declaration of love, but Gentaro, in spite of all he's seen and endured, had been afraid to speak it. ]
[When he's kissed like that, possessively, adoringly, he wonders if perhaps he died and went to some sort of paradise. Perhaps he died in Gentaro's arms, and he'll dream of being loved by him for eternity. But this feels real, and he wants to cling to the hope that it is, so that he'll be Gentaro's forever.
He didn't speak love until he came here, but when he thinks about that first night under the stars so many months ago, he knows the same is true for him. He'd laid there, head beside Gentaro's, wondering if it would be wrong to take his hand, wondering just where that impulse came from. He wondered if it would be wrong to lay a little closer, to rest his head on him, because somehow despite being so different, they were two kindred souls from that night onward. It turned into long nights of tumultuous thoughts he tried to ignore for the sake of his kingdom, but ultimately it all came to this.
A thought occurs to him, and it makes everything he's been through in the past week and a half or so feel so much lighter, so much less painful.]
I wonder if... perhaps the universe was simply not willing to wait for me to come to you any longer. I had to be given a shove. [He laughs faintly, nuzzling at Gentaro's cheek.]
[ If fate brought them together, then-- well, Gentaro likes part of that. But if fate deemed it necessary for Dice to suffer, he's got a problem with that. It's in the past, though; now, they have to deal with the repurcussions.
It's unfair that those who hurt Dice get to live in comfort and extravagance, while he and Gentaro have to struggle now. He hadn't been lying, though, when he'd said that they could face anything together.
His kiss is slow and deep and languid, and for several moments, he kisses Dice like he's teaching him what it feels like to be loved thoroughly in one of the most intimate ways. By the time he breaks away, even he's breathing harder. A light flush spreads across his cheeks, down to his shoulders. ]
Countless stars in the sky, and yet... they could never measure up to how much I love you.
[ He brushes a gentle touch along his skin, newly scarred and still beautiful. Nothing could change that; no matter what, Dice will always be beautiful. He gazes down at him almost reverently, his touch matching. ]
[He's so happy right now, it seems unreal. It seems impossible. After all he's been through, he should be miserable. But at Gentaro's hands, under his touch and all this abundant love, he can't think of himself as anything but the luckiest man alive. He kisses Gentaro back with all the passion he can muster, earlier fears shoved aside in favor of simply sinking into this new life by Gentaro's side.
As the kiss breaks, Dice looks up at Gentaro through thick lashes, undaunted by all his suffering.]
You are the only person I've ever desired. I'll forget everything that came before, save for what makes me stronger.
[Reaching up, he touches Gentaro's cheek with gentle fingertips.]
What of your pleasure, my love? Surely... that isn't all you want.
[ He goes weak at that touch, that look. Dice wields an incredible power to make Gentaro melt, and he draws in a shaky breath as he covers his hand with his own. He has a point, too, and now that he's explicitly drawn attention to it, it's impossible to ignore. ]
Mm. Quite the charmer you are. [ He kisses him once more and presses their bare hips together, breath catching at the contact. ] It seems you've caught your breath... Shall we proceed, darling?
[ He's aching to be inside of Dice, but he has to prepare him first; Gentaro couldn't forgive himself, ever, if he hurt him, especially during their easy, warm intimacy. ]
[Dice has hardly ever been called charming, so he can't help a little laugh at Gentaro's compliment. There's something so freeing about being with Gentaro, and Dice's smiles and laughter come easier and easier by the hour.
Of course, any thoughts of laughter are replaced with a pointed gasp, followed by a low, needy moan at the contact between their bodies.]
Please. I want you to love me so thoroughly I can't think.
[Because that's what this is, now. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to shy away from. This is a pure expression of their love.]
Gently, though. [He adds on, with a slight pinkish tinge to his cheeks.]
[ They come more freely, more precious. Dice's laughter is contagious, and Gentaro can't help a quiet laugh of his own. He nudges his nose gently against his--it's an affectionate gesture, one meant to draw out more of that beautiful laugh.
He shivers at Dice's request, eyes darker and half-lidded now. Gentaro kisses him sweetly, then grabs the glass bottle and slicks his fingers up. ]
Mm. Of course I'll be gentle. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. [ a pause. ] I will warn you that it will be uncomfortable at first. If you need me to slow down, please tell me.
[ He leans in and kisses him deeply, fingers nudging between his legs. Gentaro trails kisses down to his neck, marking him lightly with nips and sucks as he presses his fingers in slowly, gently. ]
[His eyes follow Gentaro's movements again, and he figures things out rather quickly. It's not embarrassing, not anymore, but this is new, and it takes him a moment to nod and make a small hum of affirmation. This will be a completely novel experience; he'll trust Gentaro completely, though.
He watches him slick up his fingers, then moves his legs wider apart so Gentaro can have access. It's simple enough, he supposes. The only thing that keeps him from squirming in discomfort is the way Gentaro is marking him, planting kiss after sweetly possessive kiss.
It isn't bad. He wants to say as much, but instead he simply lets out a breath he forgot he was holding and relaxes back a little more. There's an odd quiet between them as he gets used to the sensations, but he comes to love it, if only because it's Gentaro doing it.
[ And in turn, Gentaro relaxes. He moves his finger steadily, making sure to watch Dice's face for any sign of discomfort. He kisses him, nipping at his bottom lip before running his tongue along the barely-there mark. ]
Hmm, does it? [ He doesn't know what this feels like, but Gentaro thinks-- maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let Dice take him. He shivers lightly at the idea, and he decides one day, he'd like that. ] You're doing so well, Dice.
[ He eases another finger inside him, biting at the junction of neck and shoulder. Already, Dice feels incredible, and Gentaro thanks his self-control. Of course, he'd never rush things. It's just that no other partner has ever excited him like Dice has.
His gaze softens as he lifts his head, expression impossibly gentle and loving. ]
You're lovely. Thank you for trusting me like this.
[Dice could end up very inside his own head right now if he's not a little careful, so he shifts his focus from sensation to sensation over and over again. The bite to his shoulder makes him feel hotter than the fingers inside him, then the focus shifts and he feels his face warm with embarrassment at how much he frankly doesn't hate it at all. Maybe it's not supposed to feel good, really, maybe he's not used to it yet, but he still adores this man and trusts him completely. If this will make Gentaro feel good, it's Dice's absolute pleasure to oblige.
He squirms a bit from time to time as he adjusts to the feeling of those fingers, but then the attention and focus shifts again for him to Gentaro's searing affection. He beams up at him, albeit a touch hazily.]
I trust you absolutely. I wouldn't do this with anyone else.
I will never squander that trust. It is precious to me.
[ That warms Gentaro, and he kisses him deeply, crooking his fingers just slightly. He feels like he'll go mad with need and desire, but patience is one of his few virtues. He's very determined to make Dice feel as good as possible, and if he loses himself in his pleasure, well...
Gentaro will bring him back. Always.
He wraps a hand around Dice's length, stroking him slowly as he draws his fingers back and adds a third. Gentaro imagines the stretch must be overwhelming, so as he moves his fingers slowly and strokes him, he watches Dice's face. ]
[The way he crooks his fingers makes Dice let out a sound too loud for the room they're in, and a moment later, when Gentaro relents just a touch, he covers his mouth with his arm, biting at the back of his wrist.
But Gentaro doesn't stop. He goes further, adds more, and Dice's hips buck into the stroking at his cock, too. He's starting to get overwhelmed again, but in the best ways. It's too much, but he isn't giving in and saying that because it also feels divine.]
I'm fine. [He's more than fine. He's started to really get into this.] I'm... [He's getting hard again, which is shocking to him, to say the least.] ...This isn't it, is it?
[ He presses a kiss to his forehead, enamored with Dice's reactions. Before he answers, Gentaro rubs his thumb over the head of his cock. Watching him still, he slides his fingers out. ]
No--no, this isn't it. [ He's a touch breathless as he kisses him twice: once on the lips before lowering his head and pressing his lips over Dice's heart. ] I've wanted you for a very long time.
[ He's nearly out of his mind with desire and need. Gentaro reaches for the bottle and generously slicks up his cock. Absently, as he moves between Dice's legs and nudges against his hole, he can't remember the last time he was this hard. It's agony, but Gentaro doesn't hate it.
Wiping his fingers on the sheets--he'll change them later, probably--he then cups Dice's cheek. It's a powerful moment when he realizes he's the first to take him like this. His expression softens. Touching their foreheads together, he murmurs, ]
It will be more uncomfortable than just my fingers. I'll go slowly, but if it is too much, do not hesitate to tell me.
[ He gives Dice several moments to process that before he pushes in slowly, slowly. Even so, Gentaro draws in a sharp gasp. Dice is tight and hot around him and feels absolutely incredible--better than he's ever had--but he sticks to his word and watches his face for any indication of pain or discomfort.
He can't keep himself from letting out an overwhelmed, nearly choked-out-- ]
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At Gentaro's priase, Dice curls into himself a bit, whining and mildly cursing. It's not fair for Gentaro to be this hot, frankly. It throws Dice for a loop, still. He's not crying, but he's a mess of emotions right now, most of them good, except the occasional moment of lamentation that Gentaro isn't his only intimate experience. How lovely it would have been to be loved like this these past few years, instead.
He wants him to keep going, even if this is uncharted territory, because he's no longer afraid Gentaro will look down on him or abandon him for the slightest error. His beloved has confirmed it over and over, in action and in words, and Dice feels like he can finally let go. As his breathing calms, he reaches to thread his fingers into Gentaro's hair.]
I didn't know it could feel like that...
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It makes him angry, too, but his expression betrays none of that. Instead, he presses kisses to his forehead, cheeks, his lips. He doesn't want to show his anger and spoil tonight. So, he focuses on Dice, on showering him in love and affection.
Just like a cat, he hums and leans into the touch. Gentaro nuzzles against his palm and traces idle patterns against his chest. ]
Mmm. Would you believe me if I said it can feel even better? [ His expression darkens; it's still gentle and affectionate, but maybe with a touch of wickedness. ] I have quite a few things I'd like to do with you.
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He can't help basking in the depth of Gentaro's affection, his cat-like curiosity and reciprocation. It's beautiful. It makes Dice feel at home. He smiles broadly, though softly, as he's still coming down from his orgasm.
Oh. But that's... tempting.]
I believe you, because it's you. [A little laugh.] You'll show me everything, won't you? Show me how to... [The blush is back.] How to do things the way you like them.
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I will, yes. You'd best be an excellent student. I'll be very thorough with your lessons, Dice.
[ He's never, ever felt like this. As he gazes down at Dice, all heat and love and fondness, he thinks, finally, this is what it's like to be truly happy. ]
We will find what you like, as well. I am hardly the type of lover to take and not give, after all.
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[But he stops himself from this entirely automatic answer. Because suddenly he's not sure that he's not sure if he'll ever like this. He's actually currently convinced that he really has been doing it entirely wrong this whole time. This, like so many other things, may well become miraculous when associated with Gentaro. And if it's possible to feel even better, well, he'll do absolutely anything Gentaro asks, wants, needs, or suggests of him.
He shakes his head, smiling.]
No. I'd like that. I want to make you happy, Gentaro, but I really wouldn't mind taking a little happiness for myself.
[He leans in to kiss him, softly at first, but with an echo of the heat Gentaro introduced him to earlier. This is bliss, and even if every day following today is the hardest training and fiercest trial Dice has ever been through, he'll still have tonight. He sighs happily against Gentaro's lips.]
No one else will ever have me.
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Gentaro knows that it's simply the way Dice is; like himself, Dice wants to make people happy. But Gentaro's never heard it spoken so frankly. He isn't sure he could be happier, really, but he's willing to test that theory.
He's about to respond, and then Dice tells him, against his mouth, that no one, except for him, will ever have him. Gentaro's breath catches. He kisses him deeply, desperately, and he holds him close, so close, so nothing ever comes between them ever again.
To think that a few words would make him so wildly emotional. Gentaro wants to keep kissing him until neither of them can breathe, but he pulls back. There's an affected expression on his face: He's overwhelmed with love, and he's more than willing to drown in it. ]
No one else will have me, either.
[ Because they haven't, not since he'd realized he loved Dice. He hadn't been able to bear putting himself in another's hands, because every time he thought of going to another, it had always been Dice he'd seen. ]
I have been yours since the moment we first watched the stars together.
[ Maybe that had been his first declaration of love, but Gentaro, in spite of all he's seen and endured, had been afraid to speak it. ]
no subject
He didn't speak love until he came here, but when he thinks about that first night under the stars so many months ago, he knows the same is true for him. He'd laid there, head beside Gentaro's, wondering if it would be wrong to take his hand, wondering just where that impulse came from. He wondered if it would be wrong to lay a little closer, to rest his head on him, because somehow despite being so different, they were two kindred souls from that night onward. It turned into long nights of tumultuous thoughts he tried to ignore for the sake of his kingdom, but ultimately it all came to this.
A thought occurs to him, and it makes everything he's been through in the past week and a half or so feel so much lighter, so much less painful.]
I wonder if... perhaps the universe was simply not willing to wait for me to come to you any longer. I had to be given a shove. [He laughs faintly, nuzzling at Gentaro's cheek.]
no subject
[ If fate brought them together, then-- well, Gentaro likes part of that. But if fate deemed it necessary for Dice to suffer, he's got a problem with that. It's in the past, though; now, they have to deal with the repurcussions.
It's unfair that those who hurt Dice get to live in comfort and extravagance, while he and Gentaro have to struggle now. He hadn't been lying, though, when he'd said that they could face anything together.
His kiss is slow and deep and languid, and for several moments, he kisses Dice like he's teaching him what it feels like to be loved thoroughly in one of the most intimate ways. By the time he breaks away, even he's breathing harder. A light flush spreads across his cheeks, down to his shoulders. ]
Countless stars in the sky, and yet... they could never measure up to how much I love you.
[ He brushes a gentle touch along his skin, newly scarred and still beautiful. Nothing could change that; no matter what, Dice will always be beautiful. He gazes down at him almost reverently, his touch matching. ]
You are who I want, now and forever.
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[He's so happy right now, it seems unreal. It seems impossible. After all he's been through, he should be miserable. But at Gentaro's hands, under his touch and all this abundant love, he can't think of himself as anything but the luckiest man alive. He kisses Gentaro back with all the passion he can muster, earlier fears shoved aside in favor of simply sinking into this new life by Gentaro's side.
As the kiss breaks, Dice looks up at Gentaro through thick lashes, undaunted by all his suffering.]
You are the only person I've ever desired. I'll forget everything that came before, save for what makes me stronger.
[Reaching up, he touches Gentaro's cheek with gentle fingertips.]
What of your pleasure, my love? Surely... that isn't all you want.
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Mm. Quite the charmer you are. [ He kisses him once more and presses their bare hips together, breath catching at the contact. ] It seems you've caught your breath... Shall we proceed, darling?
[ He's aching to be inside of Dice, but he has to prepare him first; Gentaro couldn't forgive himself, ever, if he hurt him, especially during their easy, warm intimacy. ]
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Of course, any thoughts of laughter are replaced with a pointed gasp, followed by a low, needy moan at the contact between their bodies.]
Please. I want you to love me so thoroughly I can't think.
[Because that's what this is, now. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to shy away from. This is a pure expression of their love.]
Gently, though. [He adds on, with a slight pinkish tinge to his cheeks.]
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He shivers at Dice's request, eyes darker and half-lidded now. Gentaro kisses him sweetly, then grabs the glass bottle and slicks his fingers up. ]
Mm. Of course I'll be gentle. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. [ a pause. ] I will warn you that it will be uncomfortable at first. If you need me to slow down, please tell me.
[ He leans in and kisses him deeply, fingers nudging between his legs. Gentaro trails kisses down to his neck, marking him lightly with nips and sucks as he presses his fingers in slowly, gently. ]
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He watches him slick up his fingers, then moves his legs wider apart so Gentaro can have access. It's simple enough, he supposes. The only thing that keeps him from squirming in discomfort is the way Gentaro is marking him, planting kiss after sweetly possessive kiss.
It isn't bad. He wants to say as much, but instead he simply lets out a breath he forgot he was holding and relaxes back a little more. There's an odd quiet between them as he gets used to the sensations, but he comes to love it, if only because it's Gentaro doing it.
When he finally speaks, he's hesitant.]
This is how it's done, then.
[A chuckle, then a full-body shiver.]
It makes me feel warm all over.
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Hmm, does it? [ He doesn't know what this feels like, but Gentaro thinks-- maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let Dice take him. He shivers lightly at the idea, and he decides one day, he'd like that. ] You're doing so well, Dice.
[ He eases another finger inside him, biting at the junction of neck and shoulder. Already, Dice feels incredible, and Gentaro thanks his self-control. Of course, he'd never rush things. It's just that no other partner has ever excited him like Dice has.
His gaze softens as he lifts his head, expression impossibly gentle and loving. ]
You're lovely. Thank you for trusting me like this.
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He squirms a bit from time to time as he adjusts to the feeling of those fingers, but then the attention and focus shifts again for him to Gentaro's searing affection. He beams up at him, albeit a touch hazily.]
I trust you absolutely. I wouldn't do this with anyone else.
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[ That warms Gentaro, and he kisses him deeply, crooking his fingers just slightly. He feels like he'll go mad with need and desire, but patience is one of his few virtues. He's very determined to make Dice feel as good as possible, and if he loses himself in his pleasure, well...
Gentaro will bring him back. Always.
He wraps a hand around Dice's length, stroking him slowly as he draws his fingers back and adds a third. Gentaro imagines the stretch must be overwhelming, so as he moves his fingers slowly and strokes him, he watches Dice's face. ]
How are you feeling?
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But Gentaro doesn't stop. He goes further, adds more, and Dice's hips buck into the stroking at his cock, too. He's starting to get overwhelmed again, but in the best ways. It's too much, but he isn't giving in and saying that because it also feels divine.]
I'm fine. [He's more than fine. He's started to really get into this.] I'm... [He's getting hard again, which is shocking to him, to say the least.] ...This isn't it, is it?
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No--no, this isn't it. [ He's a touch breathless as he kisses him twice: once on the lips before lowering his head and pressing his lips over Dice's heart. ] I've wanted you for a very long time.
[ He's nearly out of his mind with desire and need. Gentaro reaches for the bottle and generously slicks up his cock. Absently, as he moves between Dice's legs and nudges against his hole, he can't remember the last time he was this hard. It's agony, but Gentaro doesn't hate it.
Wiping his fingers on the sheets--he'll change them later, probably--he then cups Dice's cheek. It's a powerful moment when he realizes he's the first to take him like this. His expression softens. Touching their foreheads together, he murmurs, ]
It will be more uncomfortable than just my fingers. I'll go slowly, but if it is too much, do not hesitate to tell me.
[ He gives Dice several moments to process that before he pushes in slowly, slowly. Even so, Gentaro draws in a sharp gasp. Dice is tight and hot around him and feels absolutely incredible--better than he's ever had--but he sticks to his word and watches his face for any indication of pain or discomfort.
He can't keep himself from letting out an overwhelmed, nearly choked-out-- ]
D... Dice.