[His breath catches at the rocking of Gentaro's hips, and it's followed by a soft gasp, a shaky exhale. This is good. He wants the feeling of belonging and love to replace the lingering fear, the worry that he isn't good enough. Gentaro keeps saying things like that and Dice keeps hearing them, searing them into his consciousness, doing his best to not let rising unease take over.
He looks at Gentaro with wild eyes, carefully moving with him, though he's still a little hesitant. It feels so natural, so invigorating, he can't help but slowly let go of his fears. Gentaro moves just right, and Dice nearly whimpers in response.]
[ Gentaro doesn't try to restrain just how good this feels. He's never felt like this, ever. Dice's sounds, the way he matches Gentaro, the way he can see him becoming less nervous...
And he doesn't disappoint at all. Dice is so reactive, so open and free with how he feels. It fills Gentaro with warmth and love and pride. Not for himself (well, a little for himself), but for him. He can tell he's easing into this. Gentaro wants to provide more than anything, so when Dice asks him for another kiss after whimpering....
How can he resist?
He obliges, kissing him deeply. He puts all of his passion and heat into it and runs his tongue along his bottom lip in a bid for permission. One hand finds Dice's; Gentaro slides his fingers between his and squeezes gently, holding their linked hands against the bed. ]
[The more connection they have, the more comfortable Dice is, and he practically melts at the kiss. His lips part at once, allowing Gentaro whatever he wants, whatever he knows will make them both feel good. At the same time, he rocks his own hips against Gentaro's experimentally, groaning into the kiss when it feels so right.
He can't help it. It's terrifying, it's new in certain ways, but with Gentaro he feels safe and loved. It makes him want to give him everything, his body, his honest reactions, along with his heart. Their joined hands make him feel even warmer inside, and he relaxes to a degree that Gentaro will probably catch immediately.
He's still trying, instead of fully letting go, but he knows Gentaro won't judge him for that. This is love, this is the person he's going to spend his life with, joyously and sometimes feverishly. But maybe he doesn't have to be perfect, and maybe he doesn't have to worry about doing things a certain way.
He sighs faintly into the kiss, then relaxes more, letting his body find the rhythm Gentaro has set with his body. This time, when their hips move, it feels electric, and Dice's face flushes deeply, right down to his shoulders.]
[ The more Dice relaxes and tries things of his own, the more Gentaro loves him. It feels damn good, feeling this wonder of a man relax more and more. He could do this all night, really, but he has other things in mind.
Gentaro pushes his tongue past his lips, sliding against Dice's, and it feels better than any kiss he's had. His breath hitches softly, and he lets out a low, breathless groan into the kiss. He squeezes Dice's hand, then pulls away--reluctantly, of course--and gazes down at him, eyes half-lidded.
The hand that's not intertwined with Dice's slides down, down to his hip. He rubs a gentle circle against it, gazing down at him. His fingers brush against the waistband of his pants. ]
[He's kissed like he's never been kissed in his life, and his heart jumps into his throat. There's nothing like this, nothing like the way he feels loved and kept and commanded. He can't imagine being this close to anyone else, nor ever wanting to be. Gentaro is his world and his king. He kisses him back feverishly, joyously, his free hand sliding into Gentaro's hair.
Dice's eyes open as Gentaro pulls back, searching his face for any sign that it's because something went wrong. He's less concerned now, fairly sure Gentaro has a very good reason for pulling away that isn't Dice's fault at all. He laughs lightly with relief and embarrassment at his own concern.]
Yes. Yes, of course.
[He swallows, mouth going dry, then smiles brilliantly.]
[ Adorable. Gentaro laughs softly and kisses his forehead, and before he pulls his hand away, he kisses the back of his. ]
If you keep begging like that, I might not be able to hold back. [ He keeps his tone light, teasing. ] I wonder... do you realize just how lovely you are? How those sounds you make will forever be seared into my mind?
[ He kisses his neck, sucking a light mark there. Gentaro practically ravages his neck, his throat, while he pulls Dice's pants off his hips. He follows suit (along with his undergarments), then tosses it all aside. For a moment, Gentaro simply admires him, and clear in his expression, there's awe and affection and a deep, deep love. ]
You're beautiful, Dice.
[ His voice is quiet and gentle. He's a work of art--a masterpiece. Gentaro will never, ever get tired of seeing him like this. Reaching over to his nightstand, he pulls out a half-empty glass bottle and pours a bit of oil into his hand. He leans in, kissing him deeply as he wraps a hand around Dice's length and strokes him slowly. He wants to shift between his legs and take him into his mouth, but he holds back. Perhaps (definitely) another time. ]
[Dice doesn't think he's begging, but maybe he is. There's clearly nothing wrong with that--actually, he catches on after a moment that Gentaro must really like it, and it takes his breath away.]
I just--[It drops off on a choked sound as Gentaro gets to his neck, and something in Dice snaps. He raises his hips to help Gentaro get his clothing off, but the sounds he makes don't stop. His breathing gets heavier, and when Gentaro calls him beautiful, he laughs, full of joy and affection.]
Not as beautiful as you.
[Because he means it. Gentaro outshines the moon and stars. Gentaro makes great beauties look like old maids. Gentaro makes flowers seem dull. He's everything to Dice.
He's going to say as much, but Gentaro reaches for something, and Dice watches him curiously before leaning up to kiss at Gentaro's neck as well. Intent on marking him as he was just marked, Dice sucks lightly, gently, but he falls back down to the bed the moment Gentaro gets a hand around his length, taking the kiss with him.
It muffles his sounds a little, but they're throaty and enthusiastic, and when the kiss breaks now and again, he says Gentaro's name like a sacred hymn. His hips raise into the touch, and Dice is impressed with how fast he's getting painfully hard under Gentaro's attentions. It's not... It's not like before. It's good, it's pleasant and miraculous, intense enough that it brings tears to Dice's eyes already.]
[ His head spins as Dice marks him, and he lets out a low, drawn-out moan. He'll wear his marks proudly. His touch and lips are pure magic, and Gentaro feels himself growing even harder. He hadn't realized that was even possible, but Dice--
He always manages to surprise Gentaro. It makes him love him even more.
Gentaro pulls away from the kiss, nipping and kissing along his neck. He wants to hear more of Dice's sweet sounds; he knows he's overwhelming Dice already, but he isn't complaining at all. He's alarmed at the tears, but Gentaro kisses them away before he touches their foreheads together. ]
I've got you, [ he murmurs, stroking him faster and rubbing his thumb at the head of his length. ] Fall apart, and I will put you back together.
[He wants to hide his face, but he doesn't have the willpower to push Gentaro away, nor the desire. He loves him. He loves this, being taking apart beautifully and carefully. It's the most beautiful experience he's had since the first night he rested his head on Gentaro's shoulder and watched the stars with him. That had opened a door, one he's flung wide open and ripped off the hinges now.]
Don't stop.
[It's all he can say. He wants to experience this with Gentaro; he wants Gentaro to throw him over this cliff of pleasure and pull him back up. Maybe because his previous experience with this was less than wonderful, he's taken by surprise by how quickly Gentaro's attentions are getting to him. Gentaro strokes him faster, and Dice's hips begin to work into the stroking. It takes less than half a minute for Dice to realize he's in trouble.
He's too far gone to do anything about it, though. Gentaro told him he could and should fall apart, so he does, spectacularly and loudly. He cries out sharply as he comes, his whole body going tense as he empties over Gentaro's hand.]
[ His voice is rougher, lower, halfway to wrecked just from this. He's unlike any lover Gentaro's had, because simply giving without taking has never been terribly satisfying. Now, he's nearly overwhelmed by how wonderfully he responds.
Dice moves with his hand, and Gentaro marvels at how lucky he is to coax these reactions out of him. And when he comes apart, it's mesmerizing and stunning. He works him through it, kissing his neck and ears. ]
You did so well, Dice.
[ He kisses his lips, his cheeks, his forehead as he pulls his hand away. His clean hand brushes the hair out of his eyes, gazing at him with complete adoration. Now that his focus is less on bringing Dice over the edge--it's not saying much, because he's very intent on making him feel good--it's impossible to ignore how hard he is. ]
I hope that wasn't too much for you, [ he says softly, lovingly. ] If you would like to keep going, catch your breath.
[It takes Dice a while to come back to himself after that, though the kisses certainly help. They make him feel like he's being wrapped up in Gentaro's affection, like it won't wane, and it truly isn't a lie. He can't see this man as anything but his savior now.
At Gentaro's priase, Dice curls into himself a bit, whining and mildly cursing. It's not fair for Gentaro to be this hot, frankly. It throws Dice for a loop, still. He's not crying, but he's a mess of emotions right now, most of them good, except the occasional moment of lamentation that Gentaro isn't his only intimate experience. How lovely it would have been to be loved like this these past few years, instead.
He wants him to keep going, even if this is uncharted territory, because he's no longer afraid Gentaro will look down on him or abandon him for the slightest error. His beloved has confirmed it over and over, in action and in words, and Dice feels like he can finally let go. As his breathing calms, he reaches to thread his fingers into Gentaro's hair.]
It makes him angry, too, but his expression betrays none of that. Instead, he presses kisses to his forehead, cheeks, his lips. He doesn't want to show his anger and spoil tonight. So, he focuses on Dice, on showering him in love and affection.
Just like a cat, he hums and leans into the touch. Gentaro nuzzles against his palm and traces idle patterns against his chest. ]
Mmm. Would you believe me if I said it can feel even better? [ His expression darkens; it's still gentle and affectionate, but maybe with a touch of wickedness. ] I have quite a few things I'd like to do with you.
[All he knows is that Gentaro is pleased, so he's doing this right. Well... Honestly, he's not doing much. He's aware of that. But it's fine, because it's making Gentaro happy, and it feels amazing. It can't be wrong, then.
He can't help basking in the depth of Gentaro's affection, his cat-like curiosity and reciprocation. It's beautiful. It makes Dice feel at home. He smiles broadly, though softly, as he's still coming down from his orgasm.
Oh. But that's... tempting.]
I believe you, because it's you. [A little laugh.] You'll show me everything, won't you? Show me how to... [The blush is back.] How to do things the way you like them.
[ His anger ebbs away at Dice's faith in him, at his earnest, honest request. The blush on his cheeks is lovely, and Gentaro feels a swell of pride at causing it. With a soft laugh, he nods. ]
I will, yes. You'd best be an excellent student. I'll be very thorough with your lessons, Dice.
[ He's never, ever felt like this. As he gazes down at Dice, all heat and love and fondness, he thinks, finally, this is what it's like to be truly happy. ]
We will find what you like, as well. I am hardly the type of lover to take and not give, after all.
[But he stops himself from this entirely automatic answer. Because suddenly he's not sure that he's not sure if he'll ever like this. He's actually currently convinced that he really has been doing it entirely wrong this whole time. This, like so many other things, may well become miraculous when associated with Gentaro. And if it's possible to feel even better, well, he'll do absolutely anything Gentaro asks, wants, needs, or suggests of him.
He shakes his head, smiling.]
No. I'd like that. I want to make you happy, Gentaro, but I really wouldn't mind taking a little happiness for myself.
[He leans in to kiss him, softly at first, but with an echo of the heat Gentaro introduced him to earlier. This is bliss, and even if every day following today is the hardest training and fiercest trial Dice has ever been through, he'll still have tonight. He sighs happily against Gentaro's lips.]
Gentaro knows that it's simply the way Dice is; like himself, Dice wants to make people happy. But Gentaro's never heard it spoken so frankly. He isn't sure he could be happier, really, but he's willing to test that theory.
He's about to respond, and then Dice tells him, against his mouth, that no one, except for him, will ever have him. Gentaro's breath catches. He kisses him deeply, desperately, and he holds him close, so close, so nothing ever comes between them ever again.
To think that a few words would make him so wildly emotional. Gentaro wants to keep kissing him until neither of them can breathe, but he pulls back. There's an affected expression on his face: He's overwhelmed with love, and he's more than willing to drown in it. ]
No one else will have me, either.
[ Because they haven't, not since he'd realized he loved Dice. He hadn't been able to bear putting himself in another's hands, because every time he thought of going to another, it had always been Dice he'd seen. ]
I have been yours since the moment we first watched the stars together.
[ Maybe that had been his first declaration of love, but Gentaro, in spite of all he's seen and endured, had been afraid to speak it. ]
[When he's kissed like that, possessively, adoringly, he wonders if perhaps he died and went to some sort of paradise. Perhaps he died in Gentaro's arms, and he'll dream of being loved by him for eternity. But this feels real, and he wants to cling to the hope that it is, so that he'll be Gentaro's forever.
He didn't speak love until he came here, but when he thinks about that first night under the stars so many months ago, he knows the same is true for him. He'd laid there, head beside Gentaro's, wondering if it would be wrong to take his hand, wondering just where that impulse came from. He wondered if it would be wrong to lay a little closer, to rest his head on him, because somehow despite being so different, they were two kindred souls from that night onward. It turned into long nights of tumultuous thoughts he tried to ignore for the sake of his kingdom, but ultimately it all came to this.
A thought occurs to him, and it makes everything he's been through in the past week and a half or so feel so much lighter, so much less painful.]
I wonder if... perhaps the universe was simply not willing to wait for me to come to you any longer. I had to be given a shove. [He laughs faintly, nuzzling at Gentaro's cheek.]
[ If fate brought them together, then-- well, Gentaro likes part of that. But if fate deemed it necessary for Dice to suffer, he's got a problem with that. It's in the past, though; now, they have to deal with the repurcussions.
It's unfair that those who hurt Dice get to live in comfort and extravagance, while he and Gentaro have to struggle now. He hadn't been lying, though, when he'd said that they could face anything together.
His kiss is slow and deep and languid, and for several moments, he kisses Dice like he's teaching him what it feels like to be loved thoroughly in one of the most intimate ways. By the time he breaks away, even he's breathing harder. A light flush spreads across his cheeks, down to his shoulders. ]
Countless stars in the sky, and yet... they could never measure up to how much I love you.
[ He brushes a gentle touch along his skin, newly scarred and still beautiful. Nothing could change that; no matter what, Dice will always be beautiful. He gazes down at him almost reverently, his touch matching. ]
[He's so happy right now, it seems unreal. It seems impossible. After all he's been through, he should be miserable. But at Gentaro's hands, under his touch and all this abundant love, he can't think of himself as anything but the luckiest man alive. He kisses Gentaro back with all the passion he can muster, earlier fears shoved aside in favor of simply sinking into this new life by Gentaro's side.
As the kiss breaks, Dice looks up at Gentaro through thick lashes, undaunted by all his suffering.]
You are the only person I've ever desired. I'll forget everything that came before, save for what makes me stronger.
[Reaching up, he touches Gentaro's cheek with gentle fingertips.]
What of your pleasure, my love? Surely... that isn't all you want.
[ He goes weak at that touch, that look. Dice wields an incredible power to make Gentaro melt, and he draws in a shaky breath as he covers his hand with his own. He has a point, too, and now that he's explicitly drawn attention to it, it's impossible to ignore. ]
Mm. Quite the charmer you are. [ He kisses him once more and presses their bare hips together, breath catching at the contact. ] It seems you've caught your breath... Shall we proceed, darling?
[ He's aching to be inside of Dice, but he has to prepare him first; Gentaro couldn't forgive himself, ever, if he hurt him, especially during their easy, warm intimacy. ]
[Dice has hardly ever been called charming, so he can't help a little laugh at Gentaro's compliment. There's something so freeing about being with Gentaro, and Dice's smiles and laughter come easier and easier by the hour.
Of course, any thoughts of laughter are replaced with a pointed gasp, followed by a low, needy moan at the contact between their bodies.]
Please. I want you to love me so thoroughly I can't think.
[Because that's what this is, now. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to shy away from. This is a pure expression of their love.]
Gently, though. [He adds on, with a slight pinkish tinge to his cheeks.]
[ They come more freely, more precious. Dice's laughter is contagious, and Gentaro can't help a quiet laugh of his own. He nudges his nose gently against his--it's an affectionate gesture, one meant to draw out more of that beautiful laugh.
He shivers at Dice's request, eyes darker and half-lidded now. Gentaro kisses him sweetly, then grabs the glass bottle and slicks his fingers up. ]
Mm. Of course I'll be gentle. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. [ a pause. ] I will warn you that it will be uncomfortable at first. If you need me to slow down, please tell me.
[ He leans in and kisses him deeply, fingers nudging between his legs. Gentaro trails kisses down to his neck, marking him lightly with nips and sucks as he presses his fingers in slowly, gently. ]
[His eyes follow Gentaro's movements again, and he figures things out rather quickly. It's not embarrassing, not anymore, but this is new, and it takes him a moment to nod and make a small hum of affirmation. This will be a completely novel experience; he'll trust Gentaro completely, though.
He watches him slick up his fingers, then moves his legs wider apart so Gentaro can have access. It's simple enough, he supposes. The only thing that keeps him from squirming in discomfort is the way Gentaro is marking him, planting kiss after sweetly possessive kiss.
It isn't bad. He wants to say as much, but instead he simply lets out a breath he forgot he was holding and relaxes back a little more. There's an odd quiet between them as he gets used to the sensations, but he comes to love it, if only because it's Gentaro doing it.
[ And in turn, Gentaro relaxes. He moves his finger steadily, making sure to watch Dice's face for any sign of discomfort. He kisses him, nipping at his bottom lip before running his tongue along the barely-there mark. ]
Hmm, does it? [ He doesn't know what this feels like, but Gentaro thinks-- maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let Dice take him. He shivers lightly at the idea, and he decides one day, he'd like that. ] You're doing so well, Dice.
[ He eases another finger inside him, biting at the junction of neck and shoulder. Already, Dice feels incredible, and Gentaro thanks his self-control. Of course, he'd never rush things. It's just that no other partner has ever excited him like Dice has.
His gaze softens as he lifts his head, expression impossibly gentle and loving. ]
You're lovely. Thank you for trusting me like this.
[Dice could end up very inside his own head right now if he's not a little careful, so he shifts his focus from sensation to sensation over and over again. The bite to his shoulder makes him feel hotter than the fingers inside him, then the focus shifts and he feels his face warm with embarrassment at how much he frankly doesn't hate it at all. Maybe it's not supposed to feel good, really, maybe he's not used to it yet, but he still adores this man and trusts him completely. If this will make Gentaro feel good, it's Dice's absolute pleasure to oblige.
He squirms a bit from time to time as he adjusts to the feeling of those fingers, but then the attention and focus shifts again for him to Gentaro's searing affection. He beams up at him, albeit a touch hazily.]
I trust you absolutely. I wouldn't do this with anyone else.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He looks at Gentaro with wild eyes, carefully moving with him, though he's still a little hesitant. It feels so natural, so invigorating, he can't help but slowly let go of his fears. Gentaro moves just right, and Dice nearly whimpers in response.]
Kiss me again. Please.
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[ Gentaro doesn't try to restrain just how good this feels. He's never felt like this, ever. Dice's sounds, the way he matches Gentaro, the way he can see him becoming less nervous...
And he doesn't disappoint at all. Dice is so reactive, so open and free with how he feels. It fills Gentaro with warmth and love and pride. Not for himself (well, a little for himself), but for him. He can tell he's easing into this. Gentaro wants to provide more than anything, so when Dice asks him for another kiss after whimpering....
How can he resist?
He obliges, kissing him deeply. He puts all of his passion and heat into it and runs his tongue along his bottom lip in a bid for permission. One hand finds Dice's; Gentaro slides his fingers between his and squeezes gently, holding their linked hands against the bed. ]
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He can't help it. It's terrifying, it's new in certain ways, but with Gentaro he feels safe and loved. It makes him want to give him everything, his body, his honest reactions, along with his heart. Their joined hands make him feel even warmer inside, and he relaxes to a degree that Gentaro will probably catch immediately.
He's still trying, instead of fully letting go, but he knows Gentaro won't judge him for that. This is love, this is the person he's going to spend his life with, joyously and sometimes feverishly. But maybe he doesn't have to be perfect, and maybe he doesn't have to worry about doing things a certain way.
He sighs faintly into the kiss, then relaxes more, letting his body find the rhythm Gentaro has set with his body. This time, when their hips move, it feels electric, and Dice's face flushes deeply, right down to his shoulders.]
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Gentaro pushes his tongue past his lips, sliding against Dice's, and it feels better than any kiss he's had. His breath hitches softly, and he lets out a low, breathless groan into the kiss. He squeezes Dice's hand, then pulls away--reluctantly, of course--and gazes down at him, eyes half-lidded.
The hand that's not intertwined with Dice's slides down, down to his hip. He rubs a gentle circle against it, gazing down at him. His fingers brush against the waistband of his pants. ]
May I?
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Dice's eyes open as Gentaro pulls back, searching his face for any sign that it's because something went wrong. He's less concerned now, fairly sure Gentaro has a very good reason for pulling away that isn't Dice's fault at all. He laughs lightly with relief and embarrassment at his own concern.]
Yes. Yes, of course.
[He swallows, mouth going dry, then smiles brilliantly.]
Please.
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If you keep begging like that, I might not be able to hold back. [ He keeps his tone light, teasing. ] I wonder... do you realize just how lovely you are? How those sounds you make will forever be seared into my mind?
[ He kisses his neck, sucking a light mark there. Gentaro practically ravages his neck, his throat, while he pulls Dice's pants off his hips. He follows suit (along with his undergarments), then tosses it all aside. For a moment, Gentaro simply admires him, and clear in his expression, there's awe and affection and a deep, deep love. ]
You're beautiful, Dice.
[ His voice is quiet and gentle. He's a work of art--a masterpiece. Gentaro will never, ever get tired of seeing him like this. Reaching over to his nightstand, he pulls out a half-empty glass bottle and pours a bit of oil into his hand. He leans in, kissing him deeply as he wraps a hand around Dice's length and strokes him slowly. He wants to shift between his legs and take him into his mouth, but he holds back. Perhaps (definitely) another time. ]
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I just--[It drops off on a choked sound as Gentaro gets to his neck, and something in Dice snaps. He raises his hips to help Gentaro get his clothing off, but the sounds he makes don't stop. His breathing gets heavier, and when Gentaro calls him beautiful, he laughs, full of joy and affection.]
Not as beautiful as you.
[Because he means it. Gentaro outshines the moon and stars. Gentaro makes great beauties look like old maids. Gentaro makes flowers seem dull. He's everything to Dice.
He's going to say as much, but Gentaro reaches for something, and Dice watches him curiously before leaning up to kiss at Gentaro's neck as well. Intent on marking him as he was just marked, Dice sucks lightly, gently, but he falls back down to the bed the moment Gentaro gets a hand around his length, taking the kiss with him.
It muffles his sounds a little, but they're throaty and enthusiastic, and when the kiss breaks now and again, he says Gentaro's name like a sacred hymn. His hips raise into the touch, and Dice is impressed with how fast he's getting painfully hard under Gentaro's attentions. It's not... It's not like before. It's good, it's pleasant and miraculous, intense enough that it brings tears to Dice's eyes already.]
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[ His head spins as Dice marks him, and he lets out a low, drawn-out moan. He'll wear his marks proudly. His touch and lips are pure magic, and Gentaro feels himself growing even harder. He hadn't realized that was even possible, but Dice--
He always manages to surprise Gentaro. It makes him love him even more.
Gentaro pulls away from the kiss, nipping and kissing along his neck. He wants to hear more of Dice's sweet sounds; he knows he's overwhelming Dice already, but he isn't complaining at all. He's alarmed at the tears, but Gentaro kisses them away before he touches their foreheads together. ]
I've got you, [ he murmurs, stroking him faster and rubbing his thumb at the head of his length. ] Fall apart, and I will put you back together.
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Don't stop.
[It's all he can say. He wants to experience this with Gentaro; he wants Gentaro to throw him over this cliff of pleasure and pull him back up. Maybe because his previous experience with this was less than wonderful, he's taken by surprise by how quickly Gentaro's attentions are getting to him. Gentaro strokes him faster, and Dice's hips begin to work into the stroking. It takes less than half a minute for Dice to realize he's in trouble.
He's too far gone to do anything about it, though. Gentaro told him he could and should fall apart, so he does, spectacularly and loudly. He cries out sharply as he comes, his whole body going tense as he empties over Gentaro's hand.]
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[ His voice is rougher, lower, halfway to wrecked just from this. He's unlike any lover Gentaro's had, because simply giving without taking has never been terribly satisfying. Now, he's nearly overwhelmed by how wonderfully he responds.
Dice moves with his hand, and Gentaro marvels at how lucky he is to coax these reactions out of him. And when he comes apart, it's mesmerizing and stunning. He works him through it, kissing his neck and ears. ]
You did so well, Dice.
[ He kisses his lips, his cheeks, his forehead as he pulls his hand away. His clean hand brushes the hair out of his eyes, gazing at him with complete adoration. Now that his focus is less on bringing Dice over the edge--it's not saying much, because he's very intent on making him feel good--it's impossible to ignore how hard he is. ]
I hope that wasn't too much for you, [ he says softly, lovingly. ] If you would like to keep going, catch your breath.
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At Gentaro's priase, Dice curls into himself a bit, whining and mildly cursing. It's not fair for Gentaro to be this hot, frankly. It throws Dice for a loop, still. He's not crying, but he's a mess of emotions right now, most of them good, except the occasional moment of lamentation that Gentaro isn't his only intimate experience. How lovely it would have been to be loved like this these past few years, instead.
He wants him to keep going, even if this is uncharted territory, because he's no longer afraid Gentaro will look down on him or abandon him for the slightest error. His beloved has confirmed it over and over, in action and in words, and Dice feels like he can finally let go. As his breathing calms, he reaches to thread his fingers into Gentaro's hair.]
I didn't know it could feel like that...
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It makes him angry, too, but his expression betrays none of that. Instead, he presses kisses to his forehead, cheeks, his lips. He doesn't want to show his anger and spoil tonight. So, he focuses on Dice, on showering him in love and affection.
Just like a cat, he hums and leans into the touch. Gentaro nuzzles against his palm and traces idle patterns against his chest. ]
Mmm. Would you believe me if I said it can feel even better? [ His expression darkens; it's still gentle and affectionate, but maybe with a touch of wickedness. ] I have quite a few things I'd like to do with you.
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He can't help basking in the depth of Gentaro's affection, his cat-like curiosity and reciprocation. It's beautiful. It makes Dice feel at home. He smiles broadly, though softly, as he's still coming down from his orgasm.
Oh. But that's... tempting.]
I believe you, because it's you. [A little laugh.] You'll show me everything, won't you? Show me how to... [The blush is back.] How to do things the way you like them.
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I will, yes. You'd best be an excellent student. I'll be very thorough with your lessons, Dice.
[ He's never, ever felt like this. As he gazes down at Dice, all heat and love and fondness, he thinks, finally, this is what it's like to be truly happy. ]
We will find what you like, as well. I am hardly the type of lover to take and not give, after all.
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[But he stops himself from this entirely automatic answer. Because suddenly he's not sure that he's not sure if he'll ever like this. He's actually currently convinced that he really has been doing it entirely wrong this whole time. This, like so many other things, may well become miraculous when associated with Gentaro. And if it's possible to feel even better, well, he'll do absolutely anything Gentaro asks, wants, needs, or suggests of him.
He shakes his head, smiling.]
No. I'd like that. I want to make you happy, Gentaro, but I really wouldn't mind taking a little happiness for myself.
[He leans in to kiss him, softly at first, but with an echo of the heat Gentaro introduced him to earlier. This is bliss, and even if every day following today is the hardest training and fiercest trial Dice has ever been through, he'll still have tonight. He sighs happily against Gentaro's lips.]
No one else will ever have me.
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Gentaro knows that it's simply the way Dice is; like himself, Dice wants to make people happy. But Gentaro's never heard it spoken so frankly. He isn't sure he could be happier, really, but he's willing to test that theory.
He's about to respond, and then Dice tells him, against his mouth, that no one, except for him, will ever have him. Gentaro's breath catches. He kisses him deeply, desperately, and he holds him close, so close, so nothing ever comes between them ever again.
To think that a few words would make him so wildly emotional. Gentaro wants to keep kissing him until neither of them can breathe, but he pulls back. There's an affected expression on his face: He's overwhelmed with love, and he's more than willing to drown in it. ]
No one else will have me, either.
[ Because they haven't, not since he'd realized he loved Dice. He hadn't been able to bear putting himself in another's hands, because every time he thought of going to another, it had always been Dice he'd seen. ]
I have been yours since the moment we first watched the stars together.
[ Maybe that had been his first declaration of love, but Gentaro, in spite of all he's seen and endured, had been afraid to speak it. ]
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He didn't speak love until he came here, but when he thinks about that first night under the stars so many months ago, he knows the same is true for him. He'd laid there, head beside Gentaro's, wondering if it would be wrong to take his hand, wondering just where that impulse came from. He wondered if it would be wrong to lay a little closer, to rest his head on him, because somehow despite being so different, they were two kindred souls from that night onward. It turned into long nights of tumultuous thoughts he tried to ignore for the sake of his kingdom, but ultimately it all came to this.
A thought occurs to him, and it makes everything he's been through in the past week and a half or so feel so much lighter, so much less painful.]
I wonder if... perhaps the universe was simply not willing to wait for me to come to you any longer. I had to be given a shove. [He laughs faintly, nuzzling at Gentaro's cheek.]
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[ If fate brought them together, then-- well, Gentaro likes part of that. But if fate deemed it necessary for Dice to suffer, he's got a problem with that. It's in the past, though; now, they have to deal with the repurcussions.
It's unfair that those who hurt Dice get to live in comfort and extravagance, while he and Gentaro have to struggle now. He hadn't been lying, though, when he'd said that they could face anything together.
His kiss is slow and deep and languid, and for several moments, he kisses Dice like he's teaching him what it feels like to be loved thoroughly in one of the most intimate ways. By the time he breaks away, even he's breathing harder. A light flush spreads across his cheeks, down to his shoulders. ]
Countless stars in the sky, and yet... they could never measure up to how much I love you.
[ He brushes a gentle touch along his skin, newly scarred and still beautiful. Nothing could change that; no matter what, Dice will always be beautiful. He gazes down at him almost reverently, his touch matching. ]
You are who I want, now and forever.
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[He's so happy right now, it seems unreal. It seems impossible. After all he's been through, he should be miserable. But at Gentaro's hands, under his touch and all this abundant love, he can't think of himself as anything but the luckiest man alive. He kisses Gentaro back with all the passion he can muster, earlier fears shoved aside in favor of simply sinking into this new life by Gentaro's side.
As the kiss breaks, Dice looks up at Gentaro through thick lashes, undaunted by all his suffering.]
You are the only person I've ever desired. I'll forget everything that came before, save for what makes me stronger.
[Reaching up, he touches Gentaro's cheek with gentle fingertips.]
What of your pleasure, my love? Surely... that isn't all you want.
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Mm. Quite the charmer you are. [ He kisses him once more and presses their bare hips together, breath catching at the contact. ] It seems you've caught your breath... Shall we proceed, darling?
[ He's aching to be inside of Dice, but he has to prepare him first; Gentaro couldn't forgive himself, ever, if he hurt him, especially during their easy, warm intimacy. ]
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Of course, any thoughts of laughter are replaced with a pointed gasp, followed by a low, needy moan at the contact between their bodies.]
Please. I want you to love me so thoroughly I can't think.
[Because that's what this is, now. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to shy away from. This is a pure expression of their love.]
Gently, though. [He adds on, with a slight pinkish tinge to his cheeks.]
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He shivers at Dice's request, eyes darker and half-lidded now. Gentaro kisses him sweetly, then grabs the glass bottle and slicks his fingers up. ]
Mm. Of course I'll be gentle. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. [ a pause. ] I will warn you that it will be uncomfortable at first. If you need me to slow down, please tell me.
[ He leans in and kisses him deeply, fingers nudging between his legs. Gentaro trails kisses down to his neck, marking him lightly with nips and sucks as he presses his fingers in slowly, gently. ]
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He watches him slick up his fingers, then moves his legs wider apart so Gentaro can have access. It's simple enough, he supposes. The only thing that keeps him from squirming in discomfort is the way Gentaro is marking him, planting kiss after sweetly possessive kiss.
It isn't bad. He wants to say as much, but instead he simply lets out a breath he forgot he was holding and relaxes back a little more. There's an odd quiet between them as he gets used to the sensations, but he comes to love it, if only because it's Gentaro doing it.
When he finally speaks, he's hesitant.]
This is how it's done, then.
[A chuckle, then a full-body shiver.]
It makes me feel warm all over.
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Hmm, does it? [ He doesn't know what this feels like, but Gentaro thinks-- maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let Dice take him. He shivers lightly at the idea, and he decides one day, he'd like that. ] You're doing so well, Dice.
[ He eases another finger inside him, biting at the junction of neck and shoulder. Already, Dice feels incredible, and Gentaro thanks his self-control. Of course, he'd never rush things. It's just that no other partner has ever excited him like Dice has.
His gaze softens as he lifts his head, expression impossibly gentle and loving. ]
You're lovely. Thank you for trusting me like this.
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He squirms a bit from time to time as he adjusts to the feeling of those fingers, but then the attention and focus shifts again for him to Gentaro's searing affection. He beams up at him, albeit a touch hazily.]
I trust you absolutely. I wouldn't do this with anyone else.
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