[ Gentaro doesn't often blush, but... Dice has dreamed about it? It makes him feel flustered and warm all at once. But he's pleased; besides, it's not like Gentaro hasn't dreamed of the same thing... and more.
For a few moments, he openly admires Dice. It gives him a chance to make a decision, too. When he's at home, he doesn't bother with the elaborate robes; he's comfortable enough around him to forgo them. Meaning, he slips off his own shirt and takes his hand. ]
Mmm. Then I'm a dream come true, am I? [ There's color in his cheeks, and he even looks pleased. ] I think it goes without saying that I would very much like to hear you tell me a story.
[ He could listen to him all day and not get bored. ]
[Maybe Dice continually trying to stick around Gentaro was because he did still act comfortable around him sometimes. The mixed signals were killer, but they were positive enough to keep Dice by Gentaro's side. He's loyal like that, after all.
They've been half-naked next to each other before after just enough drinks, so this shouldn't be anything too special. Yet it is.
He scoots back to his usual side of the bed, pulling Gentaro along with him.]
Yeah, you're pretty much one hundred percent of my dreams comin' true. [Wait. Except those dreams, that it is NOT the time to bring up.] Okay, maybe like... 85%. Still passin' with flying colors.
[ Gentaro moves easily with him, and laying down with Dice feels even more special. He gently nuzzles against Dice's cheek, and he's definitely not shy about cuddling close to him. There is a bit of hesitation, of course, before he rests his hand on his chest. ]
Oh? And the other fifteen percent? [ He's teasing him, eyes bright with mischief. ] I suppose I'll have to figure that out myself.
[ A pause, as Gentaro takes in his warmth and affection. ]
[Dice might be resisting the word "cuddle" but he is thinking it, and he's more than happy when Gentaro gets close to him. He puts a hand over the one that finally settles on his chest and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly.]
If you don't figure out that last fifteen by tomorrow, I'm gonna be shocked and disappointed.
[Figure out, he says. Yes, he's stopping at "figure out", like a gentleman. He's a damn gentleman when he wants to be. But maybe he's just buying time...]
Yeah. A story. How d'you usually start? Like... [He clears his throat, the last of the nerves ebbing away as he soaks up Gentaro's warmth.] A long time ago, right? There was this kid. His parents were really rich, and they seemed to get along okay, mostly... But then stuff started happening that didn't make sense.
[ Figure out, indeed. He's almost completely sure that he knows already, but all the same... he's looking forward to it. But now isn't the time to think about that. Pressing a kiss to Dice's cheek, he listens when he starts to talk. As he does, Gentaro shifts his other arm so he can sink his hand into his hair.
... Huh. So Dice comes from an affluent family. That makes his transience even more puzzling, really. But tragedy can strike at any time, quiet and devastating. He also catches onto they seemed to get along okay, mostly. It's concerning, the phrasing of that, and Gentaro runs his hand through Dice's hair again and again, an attempt to soothe him. ]
It's always troubling when confusing things happen. What was it that happened?
[Dice instinctively tips his head toward the hand in his hair, sighing softly. Telling a story is somehow kind of frustrating, but he always sees stories as Gentaro's language, so in that way it feels correct. And, despite Dice's usual directness, it's safely indirect. He's distanced from it. It's weird, but it feels better anyway.
Yet he's not going to keep up this third-person review of it. He does need to own his family, even if it sucks.]
I don't really know. My parents kinda started not getting along, or something. They were always kind of... I guess it was normal to me, but they had a lot going on because of their jobs. My mom especially. Me... I tried to be a good kid. I practiced music and did okay in school. It wasn't like it was really bad, and maybe I didn't know what was up, but something was always off. My dad got arrested when I was younger and I haven't seen him in ages.
[He reaches to run a hand through his hair, forgetting Gentaro's is there, so there's a brief touch of fingers before he awkwardly drops his hand back to his chest.]
And then Mom just... got rid of me. She handed me over to my grandma and that was that. Not like it was any less rough on me, trying to be perfect and all for my mom, but... I guess I cracked. I quit high school and said "fuck it"... Started living on the streets.
[There's more. There's a giant elephant looming and he's not sure he can say this. So he goes silent for a moment.]
[ Against Dice, Gentaro stiffens slightly. He can sympathize with a busy work life, because he knows very very well how it goes. He's always wondered about Dice's reasons for living on the streets, but this-- he hadn't expected this.
He's not actually sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn't this. His heart aches; abandonment in the most painful ways is always difficult to reconcile. A father in prison, a mother who, he assumes, expected nothing but the best from her son. Abandonment--yes, Gentaro knows what that feels like.
It's true that Gentaro hasn't the faintest idea of who his mother is, but his feelings toward her are already sour. To give Dice up... to get rid of such a bright, warm presence... it's unacceptable. He wonders if she thinks about Dice. He wonders if she regrets what she did.
Gentaro hopes she regrets it. He hopes she lays awake at night and thinks about her mistake. Faintly, he thinks about how, if Dice hadn't run away, they never would have met. It doesn't make him feel better, but Fling Posse is Dice's family now.
Sensing Dice's hesitation, Gentaro wraps his arms around him and holds him close. He runs his fingers through his hair, over and over again. Gentaro presses a kiss to his forehead. ]
Anything you want to say, I will listen. I won't judge you, Dice, and I will keep your secrets locked up tight. They, and you, are safe with me.
You say that... But you actually know who my mom is.
[Okay. He can do this. Gentaro isn't really an asshole. He won't judge Dice for sins that aren't his own. He still tenses, eyes fixed on the ceiling.]
Arisugawa is her maiden name. She goes by Otome Tohoten now. The Prime Minister's my mom. [A breath.] For the record, I don't want anything to do with her. She ditched me. But I called her up when Ramuda was in trouble and blackmailed her a little bit with that manuscript you gave me.
The anger that rises up and threatens to choke Gentaro isn't directed at Dice. It's her. Otome Tohoten is responsible for the Party of Words. It's because of her that Ramuda's suffered so much, that his brother lays in the hospital, unable to wake.
And she'd abandoned Dice. The three people Gentaro loves most-- and they've all been hurt because of her.
Gentaro lets out a breath and holds Dice a bit tighter. This won't break what they have. ]
I can't say I could have predicted that. [ He shifts so he rests on top of him, then leans down and kisses him. ] Your connection to her changes nothing.
[ He thinks back to that day, when Dice had said to give him the manuscript because it would hit harder if he used it. While he can't say he's delighted to know it's in her hands... it had been a necessity, and he certainly isn't upset with Dice. ]
I hope it reminds her of what she's done. [ Another kiss, a little deeper this time. He cradles Dice's face in his hands and touches their foreheads together. ] She is a fool for abandoning you, but nothing will make me leave your side. I promise.
[He watches in quiet, affectionate awe as Gentaro takes it in stride and showers him with more affection than he ever thought possible. Shifting so Gentaro can lay atop him comfortably, he wraps his arms around him tightly, almost like he's clinging.
I hope it reminds her of what she's done. Dice can't imagine a more loving reaction to this. He's never entirely sure how to handle his mother's situation, or her absolutely horrific decisions, but he found Gentaro and Ramuda, and they're his world now.
Gentaro is his now. Dice's love and efforts won't be rejected or looked down on ever again, even when they're not quite good enough by other peoples' standards.
His eyes close at the kiss, and he returns it with all the emotion he can't put into words. If this is what being loved feels like, he's glad he made every stupid decision in life that led him to Gentaro's side.]
I don't want you to leave me. Ever.
[That is damn hard for Dice to admit. That he cares about anything but money and being thrilled nearly to death might be shocking to anyone but Fling Posse, but that he cares this much is bound to confound even Gentaro. At least, that's what Dice thinks.]
D'you know how scared I was when I thought you hated me? So don't even joke about stuff like that ever again, okay? I'm... I'm sorry about the manuscript. But don't hate me. Please.
[ Gentaro loves him. He loves him so much that it feels overwhelming, but in a good way. Being held like this is new and strange, but he thinks he could get used to it.
It breaks his heart, how much he'd hurt Dice. He looks down at him, memorizing his face, looking into his eyes. Dice has always had beautiful eyes, but it's like all those feelings have been amplified.
He really was an idiot for trying to pull away. Fear is a tricky thing, though. But even if he had his reasons, they weren't good reasons, and Gentaro will never make excuses. It's even worse to think about, now that he knows about his past.
He'll devote his life to making Dice happy, instead. It's a powerful thought, and Gentaro kisses him, deeper and more loving than the previous kisses they've shared. ]
I won't leave you, [ he says, when he pulls away just slightly. Their lips are still so close together; Gentaro's brush just lightly against Dice's as he talks. ]
You have no reason to apologize. When I took the manuscript, I considered using it in much the same way. It was more impactful coming from you. [ A pause. ] I will never treat you that way, ever again. I could never hate you.
I'm sorry, Dice. [ He kisses him again, because he'll never get enough of him. ] Whatever I need to do to make amends... simply tell me, and I will do it.
[It isn't like Dice knows everything, but knowing that Gentaro isn't who he says he is, and piecing things together, made it pretty evident that the manuscript was even more important on a personal level than even a political one. He honestly thought Gentaro might get mad at him over everything, over always having had a connection he could have leveraged, if only he'd known he needed to. They had to go for the worst-case options, and Dice understands that, but still. He doesn't want to think right now about doing a damn thing to hurt Gentaro. His own mother has already done enough by trying to destroy Ramuda. (And Dice doesn't even know so, so much...)
He figures he'll have to come clean to Ramuda, too, now. Ramuda might punch him, though. That'd be fine. He'd deserve that one.
For now, he's happy to just bask in Gentaro's reassurances. He runs his hands up Gentaro's back and slips one into his hair, keeping him close.]
I don't wanna hear you apologize... It ain't like that. I coulda told you how I felt a long time ago, right? And we coulda had this talk a long time ago. But I was bein' stupid.
[He knows, he knows.]
You don't hafta do anything. Stay with me, I mean, but... Other than that... Don't act like lovin' me is some kinda thing you have to do because you feel bad, is all.
[Slowly, softly, gently, he kisses Gentaro, but this time he lets it slip into something a little deeper, something committed and bold. When he finally breaks away from it, he murmurs:]
I'm gonna protect you so you can protect your brother. And when he wakes up, you better introduce me as your favorite dumbass.
[ How readily Dice's touch affects him is-- It's a little embarrassing. Gentaro shivers against him, eyes closing as he leans into the touch like a cat.
They're moving toward something pivotal, he knows. It excites him, makes him feel a thrill he's never experienced. And the kiss--it's tinged with something Gentaro has only dreamed about. His breath catches in his chest, color blooming across his cheeks. ]
Mm. We could have both communicated better, no? [ He opens his eyes, gazing down at him with open adoration and something a little more heated. ] As far as loving you.... Not once has it been an obligation or burden.
I'll stay by your side, just as you will mine. We'll protect each other, as we always have. [ He laughs softly, then, and it's much lighter and more free than it's ever sounded. ] As for meeting my brother... Why don't I introduce you as-- [ a pause ] --"the person I want to spend my life with"?
[This hurts in all the ways Dice never thought he could hurt. He aches for more of this, like he's starving, like he'll fade away at any moment if he doesn't have every part of Gentaro made his own.
Who cares now if they could've communicated better, or who was wrong, or what the reasoning was? Dice certainly doesn't give a single fuck. All that matters is that Gentaro doesn't hate him, Gentaro loves him, and they're a thing now.
A thing Gentaro puts a name to moments later, on the heels of a beautiful laugh that Dice has never heard before.
He has no answer besides a laugh of his own, the most inescapable embrace, and a kiss that'd put any Hollywood movie to shame.]
[ Dice is passion and ferocity when it comes to love, and more than anything, he is a home Gentaro never wants to leave. He's content to simply be in his orbit, but what Dice gives him is so much more.
He is Dice's, and Dice is his.
Gentaro isn't experienced at all in the realm of physical intimacy like this, but he trusts Dice. He's trusted him for so long, even before he'd handed the manuscript to him. So as Dice kisses him to within an inch of his life, Gentaro gives just as good as he gets.
This is happiness in its purest form. Maybe he's taken on some of Dice's love of thrills, because as his heart races and pounds in his chest, he parts his lips against his. ]
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no subject
For a few moments, he openly admires Dice. It gives him a chance to make a decision, too. When he's at home, he doesn't bother with the elaborate robes; he's comfortable enough around him to forgo them. Meaning, he slips off his own shirt and takes his hand. ]
Mmm. Then I'm a dream come true, am I? [ There's color in his cheeks, and he even looks pleased. ] I think it goes without saying that I would very much like to hear you tell me a story.
[ He could listen to him all day and not get bored. ]
no subject
They've been half-naked next to each other before after just enough drinks, so this shouldn't be anything too special. Yet it is.
He scoots back to his usual side of the bed, pulling Gentaro along with him.]
Yeah, you're pretty much one hundred percent of my dreams comin' true. [Wait. Except those dreams, that it is NOT the time to bring up.] Okay, maybe like... 85%. Still passin' with flying colors.
no subject
Oh? And the other fifteen percent? [ He's teasing him, eyes bright with mischief. ] I suppose I'll have to figure that out myself.
[ A pause, as Gentaro takes in his warmth and affection. ]
After you tell me a story, naturally.
no subject
If you don't figure out that last fifteen by tomorrow, I'm gonna be shocked and disappointed.
[Figure out, he says. Yes, he's stopping at "figure out", like a gentleman. He's a damn gentleman when he wants to be. But maybe he's just buying time...]
Yeah. A story. How d'you usually start? Like... [He clears his throat, the last of the nerves ebbing away as he soaks up Gentaro's warmth.] A long time ago, right? There was this kid. His parents were really rich, and they seemed to get along okay, mostly... But then stuff started happening that didn't make sense.
no subject
... Huh. So Dice comes from an affluent family. That makes his transience even more puzzling, really. But tragedy can strike at any time, quiet and devastating. He also catches onto they seemed to get along okay, mostly. It's concerning, the phrasing of that, and Gentaro runs his hand through Dice's hair again and again, an attempt to soothe him. ]
It's always troubling when confusing things happen. What was it that happened?
no subject
Yet he's not going to keep up this third-person review of it. He does need to own his family, even if it sucks.]
I don't really know. My parents kinda started not getting along, or something. They were always kind of... I guess it was normal to me, but they had a lot going on because of their jobs. My mom especially. Me... I tried to be a good kid. I practiced music and did okay in school. It wasn't like it was really bad, and maybe I didn't know what was up, but something was always off. My dad got arrested when I was younger and I haven't seen him in ages.
[He reaches to run a hand through his hair, forgetting Gentaro's is there, so there's a brief touch of fingers before he awkwardly drops his hand back to his chest.]
And then Mom just... got rid of me. She handed me over to my grandma and that was that. Not like it was any less rough on me, trying to be perfect and all for my mom, but... I guess I cracked. I quit high school and said "fuck it"... Started living on the streets.
[There's more. There's a giant elephant looming and he's not sure he can say this. So he goes silent for a moment.]
no subject
He's not actually sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn't this. His heart aches; abandonment in the most painful ways is always difficult to reconcile. A father in prison, a mother who, he assumes, expected nothing but the best from her son. Abandonment--yes, Gentaro knows what that feels like.
It's true that Gentaro hasn't the faintest idea of who his mother is, but his feelings toward her are already sour. To give Dice up... to get rid of such a bright, warm presence... it's unacceptable. He wonders if she thinks about Dice. He wonders if she regrets what she did.
Gentaro hopes she regrets it. He hopes she lays awake at night and thinks about her mistake. Faintly, he thinks about how, if Dice hadn't run away, they never would have met. It doesn't make him feel better, but Fling Posse is Dice's family now.
Sensing Dice's hesitation, Gentaro wraps his arms around him and holds him close. He runs his fingers through his hair, over and over again. Gentaro presses a kiss to his forehead. ]
Anything you want to say, I will listen. I won't judge you, Dice, and I will keep your secrets locked up tight. They, and you, are safe with me.
no subject
You say that... But you actually know who my mom is.
[Okay. He can do this. Gentaro isn't really an asshole. He won't judge Dice for sins that aren't his own. He still tenses, eyes fixed on the ceiling.]
Arisugawa is her maiden name. She goes by Otome Tohoten now. The Prime Minister's my mom. [A breath.] For the record, I don't want anything to do with her. She ditched me. But I called her up when Ramuda was in trouble and blackmailed her a little bit with that manuscript you gave me.
no subject
The anger that rises up and threatens to choke Gentaro isn't directed at Dice. It's her. Otome Tohoten is responsible for the Party of Words. It's because of her that Ramuda's suffered so much, that his brother lays in the hospital, unable to wake.
And she'd abandoned Dice. The three people Gentaro loves most-- and they've all been hurt because of her.
Gentaro lets out a breath and holds Dice a bit tighter. This won't break what they have. ]
I can't say I could have predicted that. [ He shifts so he rests on top of him, then leans down and kisses him. ] Your connection to her changes nothing.
[ He thinks back to that day, when Dice had said to give him the manuscript because it would hit harder if he used it. While he can't say he's delighted to know it's in her hands... it had been a necessity, and he certainly isn't upset with Dice. ]
I hope it reminds her of what she's done. [ Another kiss, a little deeper this time. He cradles Dice's face in his hands and touches their foreheads together. ] She is a fool for abandoning you, but nothing will make me leave your side. I promise.
no subject
I hope it reminds her of what she's done. Dice can't imagine a more loving reaction to this. He's never entirely sure how to handle his mother's situation, or her absolutely horrific decisions, but he found Gentaro and Ramuda, and they're his world now.
Gentaro is his now. Dice's love and efforts won't be rejected or looked down on ever again, even when they're not quite good enough by other peoples' standards.
His eyes close at the kiss, and he returns it with all the emotion he can't put into words. If this is what being loved feels like, he's glad he made every stupid decision in life that led him to Gentaro's side.]
I don't want you to leave me. Ever.
[That is damn hard for Dice to admit. That he cares about anything but money and being thrilled nearly to death might be shocking to anyone but Fling Posse, but that he cares this much is bound to confound even Gentaro. At least, that's what Dice thinks.]
D'you know how scared I was when I thought you hated me? So don't even joke about stuff like that ever again, okay? I'm... I'm sorry about the manuscript. But don't hate me. Please.
no subject
It breaks his heart, how much he'd hurt Dice. He looks down at him, memorizing his face, looking into his eyes. Dice has always had beautiful eyes, but it's like all those feelings have been amplified.
He really was an idiot for trying to pull away. Fear is a tricky thing, though. But even if he had his reasons, they weren't good reasons, and Gentaro will never make excuses. It's even worse to think about, now that he knows about his past.
He'll devote his life to making Dice happy, instead. It's a powerful thought, and Gentaro kisses him, deeper and more loving than the previous kisses they've shared. ]
I won't leave you, [ he says, when he pulls away just slightly. Their lips are still so close together; Gentaro's brush just lightly against Dice's as he talks. ]
You have no reason to apologize. When I took the manuscript, I considered using it in much the same way. It was more impactful coming from you. [ A pause. ] I will never treat you that way, ever again. I could never hate you.
I'm sorry, Dice. [ He kisses him again, because he'll never get enough of him. ] Whatever I need to do to make amends... simply tell me, and I will do it.
no subject
He figures he'll have to come clean to Ramuda, too, now. Ramuda might punch him, though. That'd be fine. He'd deserve that one.
For now, he's happy to just bask in Gentaro's reassurances. He runs his hands up Gentaro's back and slips one into his hair, keeping him close.]
I don't wanna hear you apologize... It ain't like that. I coulda told you how I felt a long time ago, right? And we coulda had this talk a long time ago. But I was bein' stupid.
[He knows, he knows.]
You don't hafta do anything. Stay with me, I mean, but... Other than that... Don't act like lovin' me is some kinda thing you have to do because you feel bad, is all.
[Slowly, softly, gently, he kisses Gentaro, but this time he lets it slip into something a little deeper, something committed and bold. When he finally breaks away from it, he murmurs:]
I'm gonna protect you so you can protect your brother. And when he wakes up, you better introduce me as your favorite dumbass.
no subject
They're moving toward something pivotal, he knows. It excites him, makes him feel a thrill he's never experienced. And the kiss--it's tinged with something Gentaro has only dreamed about. His breath catches in his chest, color blooming across his cheeks. ]
Mm. We could have both communicated better, no? [ He opens his eyes, gazing down at him with open adoration and something a little more heated. ] As far as loving you.... Not once has it been an obligation or burden.
I'll stay by your side, just as you will mine. We'll protect each other, as we always have. [ He laughs softly, then, and it's much lighter and more free than it's ever sounded. ] As for meeting my brother... Why don't I introduce you as-- [ a pause ] --"the person I want to spend my life with"?
no subject
Who cares now if they could've communicated better, or who was wrong, or what the reasoning was? Dice certainly doesn't give a single fuck. All that matters is that Gentaro doesn't hate him, Gentaro loves him, and they're a thing now.
A thing Gentaro puts a name to moments later, on the heels of a beautiful laugh that Dice has never heard before.
He has no answer besides a laugh of his own, the most inescapable embrace, and a kiss that'd put any Hollywood movie to shame.]
no subject
He is Dice's, and Dice is his.
Gentaro isn't experienced at all in the realm of physical intimacy like this, but he trusts Dice. He's trusted him for so long, even before he'd handed the manuscript to him. So as Dice kisses him to within an inch of his life, Gentaro gives just as good as he gets.
This is happiness in its purest form. Maybe he's taken on some of Dice's love of thrills, because as his heart races and pounds in his chest, he parts his lips against his. ]