soulager | SLUTTY GENDICE POST FOR SLUTTY GENDICES

Well... good!

[He grumbles slightly at falling prey to that one, but he had no real reason to disbelieve him. It's funny, but this feels... nice? Good? Like maybe he has a--]

Okay. I know I'm going to sound like a little kid asking this, but whatever. Do you want to... I mean, if it's okay with you, do you want to see if we can be actually cool? Like... friends?

[ He's surprised. Dice keeps catching him off-guard, and it's uncomfortable, but... It's also not? He doesn't feel threatened, at least. Carefully, he says, ]

Are you sure?

...Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. It's up to you, though. You're the one getting screwed over here, not me.

[There is some level of acceptance of his situation. But he's increasingly seeing it as unfair to the target, Gentaro.]

If you want me to keep my distance, nothing's going to change.

[ He doesn't answer immediately. Gentaro shifts his gaze to the window, but it's far from a rejection. After a while, he looks back at him. ]

I wouldn't mind. We'll never know unless we try.

[ Inexplicably, he's smiling. It's far from the usual ones he lets Dice see. Instead, it's softer, more genuine, reaching his eyes. ]

[Dice doesn't want to admit that his heart just leapt into his throat at that smile... and now he has to live with the consequences of the boyish grin he just flashed in return.]

Great. So we start with you feeling like you can be yourself a little bit, yeah? With the nice outfit. [He chances a little laugh, far less restrained than usual.] ...Man, I feel like I'm toeing the line between buying you a gift and bribing you, but we can work on that too.

[ His grin and laugh... he's realizing just how cute Dice is. The worst time to realize that in such close quarters.

He tries not to focus too much on feeling like you can be yourself a little bit. How does he tell him that he's starting to lose a little bit of himself with each day? He won't, because that's too personal and vulnerable.

Admitting it would make it more real. ]

Ah, dear Dice, how generous of you... [ He gives him a teasing smile. ] Spoiling me? You must want to impress me, I see.

[Maybe Dice is doing this because he's lost enough of his own self and he can't take it anymore.]

I don't know about impressing you, but I'd rather make this whole thing mostly painless if it can't be actually nice.

[ Why does he have to be so earnest? It's like Dice has been put on this earth to curse him, because he's completely Gentaro's type. Frustrating, absolutely. Gentaro knows that he's just a blip in Dice's life, and once the Party's decided he's no longer of use, he'll be nothing but a memory.

He lets out a sigh. ]

... I appreciate it. You don't have to do all of this, you know.

[Even if Dice knows they're meant to be a temporary arrangement, he still wants to treat Gentaro the way he treats anyone he respects.

Or is it likes?]

Ask anybody. They'll tell you I'm all about doing stuff other people think isn't necessary!

[ He laughs and looks at him. It's almost like he's seeing him in a new light.

That's not too far off from the truth, but he doesn't know exactly what this is. Complicated, yes, but something else that makes him feel vulnerable. ]

Mm, I believe you.

[ The urge to reach out and touch him is almost too strong to ignore. He holds back. No use in complicating things more. ]

You're hardly the type to holds back, hm?

[Dice looks thoughtful, almost uncomfortable, for just a moment. Then he shrugs.]

Well, I mean... You've seen me holding back for a while, right? Putting on a front, that kind of thing. I'm not that tame. I just gotta act like it when I'm in uniform or I'll get in more trouble than it's worth.

[He grins, and maybe he doesn't quite mean it this way but he sure says it:]

You've got me out of my uniform, so get ready.

[ Dice.... wording......

He's feeling a little warm. He hopes Dice doesn't notice, because he'd probably die of embarrassment. He covers his mouth with his hand and lets out a gasp. ]

Ready? How ominous. I'm absolutely trembling with fear!

[Dice does a bit of a double take.]

Oh, come on... I'm not that scary. Actually, don't you think I'm scarier in work mode? In the uniform, right?

[Here, in casual clothes, with his hair mostly unstyled, and a grin on and off, he's anything but intimidating.]

...

[Hmmm...]

Actually, do I look better that way? Or in a tuxedo? Suit? I don't know. My mom hates me dressing casually, but that just makes me want to do it more often.

Well, I was only joking.

[ He can't tell Dice that he looks good in anything he wears. Gentaro pauses for a moment. ]

You seem most comfortable dressing casually. It suits you.

And... my hair? Is it better back, or down?

[He musses his swept-back bangs into his face, then sweeps them a bit to the side.]

[ This is a unique sort of hell. Gentaro clears his throat and looks away, because his face is burning. ]

Down.

[Dice is so busy internally celebrating that Gentaro approves of his appearance that he doesn't even notice how red Gentaro's face has become. His own is burning a bit beneath those messy bangs.]

...Can I tell you something?

[He looks out of his window for a moment, then looks back to Gentaro, leaning toward him slightly.]

I don't think I'll ever get another chance to say it.

[ He doesn't realize he's holding his breath until Dice is finished talking. Turning toward him, he nods. ]

... You can.

[Dice reaches over and almost touches his fingertips to Gentaro's cheek before thinking better of it.]

Look, I might've been kind of... understating my intentions. I'm not the first guy to admit when I'm doing something stupid, but I don't mind being stupid right now. I really, really, really want to impress you. And... make you like me. Like... "like" like.

[ Ah.

Gentaro's eyes widen. He doesn't know what to think at first. No one's ever told him anything like this -- unsurprising, considering how he keeps to himself. ]

I--

[ He takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands in his lap. There's that urge again, to touch him, but he holds back.

Finally, he lifts his gaze to Dice's. ]

... You're off to a very good start.

[Well, that's better than Dice expected. He leans back into his seat and claps his hands together in a little moment of acknowledging victory, then runs fingers through his hair with a laugh.]

Okay. So, maybe I've got an idea. We can go shopping later. I can... Maybe I can take you out first? Coffee, tea, food, whatever you want. I mean, unless you really want that outfit right this minute. I just think while the vibes are good, we can... You know. Go talk like normal people or something.

[ It's not fair that he's so beautiful when he's relaxed like this. The way he responds is unfairly charming, too. Gentaro laughs, a little breathlessly, before he reaches out. A moment of hesitation passes before he tucks a bit of hair behind his ear. ]

I agree. Shopping can wait. [ ... ] There's a cafe I frequent. We could go there.

[Did he just get touched...? His whole body feels warm, and he shivers faintly.]

Okay. Perfect. I don't mind you showing me off a little bit, after all! Point the way. I can drive us there.

[ Cute. Gentaro pulls his hand away with a hum. ]

You're very confident.

[ But he says it fondly. Smiling slightly, he directs him to the cafe. It's difficult to look away from Dice, but he manages well enough. ]

You have no idea how not confident I was feeling until a couple of minutes ago, okay!

[He laughs, taking the directions and following them to get them there safely and at a mostly reasonable speed.]

...This is a pretty fancy neighborhood.

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