He's kicking himself for not kissing him earlier. And he knows it's not his fault, but... that's a knife to the heart. ]
It was. [ He can salvage this, tainted as it is with a lie. ] To be quite honest, those two months were somewhat of a blur. Preparing for a tour, countless meetings with editors, tight deadlines...
Nah, don't worry about it. I'm not great at it, probably, so I ain't bothered. You probably had a point...
[If it was forgettable because of a book tour, Dice can't really say he's any good, can he?]
...not wantin' to do it again. I thought... Like, at first I guess I thought I'd practice, right? So I did. And then you never asked again so I gave up on that whole thing.
[That hand on his cheek is making his whole face heat up. The hand holding Gentaro's squeezes him a bit.]
[ Well, he could have done that better. Gentaro winces, but it's more subtle than anything. It makes him hate the Party even more for hurting his brother and Dice, who clearly loves his brother so much.
He leans in, touching his forehead to his. ]
You aren't the only one. I certainly wouldn't say you're bad at it. [ It's a guess, but one he's confident in. ] Show me what I've been missing, Dice.
[ And that could mean more than one thing. For once, he doesn't want to fret over the little details. He just wants him. ]
[He's dead nervous, but the way Gentaro says it just draws him in. On a breath, he tips his head slightly to the side, reaches his free hand for Gentaro's cheek, and presses his lips to Gentaro's. There's a brief moment of silence and stillness, with him simply holding his breath and gathering up the courage to try again... Then there's a sudden exhale before he parts his lips and tries to kiss Gentaro as sweetly and perfectly as a messy soul like him can manage.]
[ He's only human, so he's thought about kissing Dice before. It's nothing like he's expected, though. Gentaro's heart feels like it's about to burst out of his chest.
Because it's so much better than he'd imagined. Dice's lips are soft and warm, and the hand against his cheek is grounding and gentle. He could have been kissing him all this time. They have here and now, though, so Gentaro leans into it.
He follows his instincts, because he's woefully inexperienced. Dice is such a comforting presence, warm and bright, that Gentaro doesn't feel as nervous as he'd thought. He's still nervous, but... it's too good to worry about it. He lets out a soft sigh and kisses him, lips parting against his. ]
[It's been quite some time since Dice spent two straight months kissing people to try to figure out why it was worth ghosting him, so the skill comes back slowly. When it does, though, he lets his lips and his tongue work deftly but gently against Gentaro's.
In his heart, this means something. It means this wasn't all just for fun, to Dice. That he wasn't just being an accessory. Sure, it's possible Gentaro just likes slow burns, but this feels real and wonderful in ways Dice can't describe.
If this is love, then he's absolutely in love. He'll shout it to the heavens.]
[ Gentaro practically melts against him. Drawing in a breath, he moves closer and slides his free hand into his hair. Kissing Dice is something he doesn't want to stop doing, now that he's made the move.
He pushes his tongue against Dice's. The more he kisses him, the more he wants. Dice is addicted to gambling, but Gentaro is addicted to him. It's not just the kissing. It's his warmth, the way he brightens everything around him, how earnest and caring he is.
Gentaro is in trouble, because everything slides into place: He's in love with Dice, and he has been for some time. The realization makes him deepen the kiss, hungry for more. ]
[Dice lets Gentaro's warmth collide and mesh with his own, his tongue eagerly meeting Gentaro's as he feels him move closer. His eyes close tighter as he lets himself get carried away, as the worries about being "good" or "enough" ebb away. Each moment longer the kiss lasts, Dice feels more confident that he's doing the right thing, that this is where he's meant to be, no matter how things started.]
[ He slides his arms around his neck, so close to sliding onto Dice's lap. To just feel and do is much easier than thinking too much. The racing thoughts in his mind are calmed and quieted. Dice is the only thing that matters now.
He doesn't think too much about what he does next. Gentaro moves onto his lap, kissing him as if his life depends on it. ]
[Dice really doesn't know where this came from, why suddenly Gentaro wants to be close to him again. He thinks he must've done something right to get here, and he wants to keep doing it so he won't have to lose this. It feels right.
Gentaro slides onto his lap, and Dice wraps his arms around him without hesitation. The kiss is intense, but he likes intensity, so this feels warm and comfortable. It feels like where he's supposed to be.]
[ He feels safe in Dice's arms. Gentaro curls his fingers around his shirt, breathing harder. He doesn't want to break the kiss, but he does and presses their foreheads together. ]
[Dice lets out the quietest, softest whine of protest when Gentaro breaks the kiss, but he knows he has to catch his breath. He's getting carried away.]
I'm trying real hard.
[His hands roam gently over Gentaro's back, and up into his hair.]
Look, I really... I think I've got a lot invested in this. In you and me.
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He's kicking himself for not kissing him earlier. And he knows it's not his fault, but... that's a knife to the heart. ]
It was. [ He can salvage this, tainted as it is with a lie. ] To be quite honest, those two months were somewhat of a blur. Preparing for a tour, countless meetings with editors, tight deadlines...
[ He puts his free hand on Dice's cheek. ]
I'm sorry, Dice.
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[If it was forgettable because of a book tour, Dice can't really say he's any good, can he?]
...not wantin' to do it again. I thought... Like, at first I guess I thought I'd practice, right? So I did. And then you never asked again so I gave up on that whole thing.
[That hand on his cheek is making his whole face heat up. The hand holding Gentaro's squeezes him a bit.]
Kinda... kinda nervous now... actually.
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He leans in, touching his forehead to his. ]
You aren't the only one. I certainly wouldn't say you're bad at it. [ It's a guess, but one he's confident in. ] Show me what I've been missing, Dice.
[ And that could mean more than one thing. For once, he doesn't want to fret over the little details. He just wants him. ]
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Because it's so much better than he'd imagined. Dice's lips are soft and warm, and the hand against his cheek is grounding and gentle. He could have been kissing him all this time. They have here and now, though, so Gentaro leans into it.
He follows his instincts, because he's woefully inexperienced. Dice is such a comforting presence, warm and bright, that Gentaro doesn't feel as nervous as he'd thought. He's still nervous, but... it's too good to worry about it. He lets out a soft sigh and kisses him, lips parting against his. ]
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In his heart, this means something. It means this wasn't all just for fun, to Dice. That he wasn't just being an accessory. Sure, it's possible Gentaro just likes slow burns, but this feels real and wonderful in ways Dice can't describe.
If this is love, then he's absolutely in love. He'll shout it to the heavens.]
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He pushes his tongue against Dice's. The more he kisses him, the more he wants. Dice is addicted to gambling, but Gentaro is addicted to him. It's not just the kissing. It's his warmth, the way he brightens everything around him, how earnest and caring he is.
Gentaro is in trouble, because everything slides into place: He's in love with Dice, and he has been for some time. The realization makes him deepen the kiss, hungry for more. ]
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He doesn't think too much about what he does next. Gentaro moves onto his lap, kissing him as if his life depends on it. ]
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Gentaro slides onto his lap, and Dice wraps his arms around him without hesitation. The kiss is intense, but he likes intensity, so this feels warm and comfortable. It feels like where he's supposed to be.]
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You're far from bad at this.
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I'm trying real hard.
[His hands roam gently over Gentaro's back, and up into his hair.]
Look, I really... I think I've got a lot invested in this. In you and me.