[ He tenses for just a brief moment, as if her reply froze him in place for a moment. He's not sure why he didn't expect the affirmative from her, of all people, but it... still catches him off guard.
Which only makes him even more sure of this. Her saying no would've yielded the same result, admittedly, but he feels better about it. ]
I think I do, actually.
[ He mumbles it quietly to himself. He looks at Mira, and he sees his sister, he sees Colette... and it brings up years of bad memories and all the things he's done and the lies he's told, and... he's sure that this is what he has to do.
He was basically on the same path before he woke up here, right? The places and names change, but in the end, he's still the same. ]
Then we're getting you out of here. [ He doesn't even acknowledge her second sentence, continuing on. ] They'd never suspect that you'd be able to take me in a fight, so we need to make it look the part.
[ He swings the sword into some nearby shrubs for good measure. ]
[ She stares up at him still. Her voice is barely louder than a whisper, but still loud enough for him to hear, this close. Her hands shake, too, but she doesn't try to hide it. It's not that she hasn't taken someone's life before. It's just--
...
She's not about to unpack that, to sift through her feelings and what they mean. It'd be a waste of time. Besides, what's the point? There is none, she realizes, and there's something about that thought that makes her feel hollow. ]
You know there's no way I can get away with this, right? The trial-- I can't... [ They'll always figure it out. They're smart. And Mira's never been good at deception. ] I can't tell you what to do, and I don't want to. But-- You have to know you'd just be throwing your life away for no good reason.
[ There's no fight in her voice, just resignation. ]
[ His tone is light, despite what he's saying. It's not that he isn't taking it seriously, it's just... he's thought about it for so long that it barely registers as fucked up as it probably is. ]
What matters is what you want to do, Mira. You can still walk away from this.
[ He can chalk the damage up to him taking some much needed aggression out on some nonliving things, the group can chastise him as they normally do, and things can move on. If she's not okay with this, he's not going to push it any further than he already has.
As okay with dying as he is, he'd like her to at least believe she's going to make it out alive. ]
[ For a few moments, she doesn't reply. That she's even so conflicted feels terribly wrong. There are a thousand thoughts racing through her mind, but one resurfaces again and again--
Even if she walks away now, the fate that awaits her is always going to hang over her. If she walks away now, it'll only delay the inevitable. And maybe she'd rather take things into her own hands. ]
... You're really okay with this?
[ She's going to lose no matter what she does. Why not give more of a chance to survive and escape to those who have something better waiting for them? ]
[ He can see her thinking a million miles an hour, turning over whether this is actually the right thing to do. The longer they wait, the worse it'll probably be in the end for her. ]
This all ends the same way for me, anyway. May as well be useful for a change. [ While making good on his own selfish and suicidal tendencies, but she doesn't really need to know that. ]
Mira isn't happy about this. Far from it. She isn't delusional enough to think that she can get away with this, either. She's hardly the smartest person here. Even worse, she's pretty damn scared. But--
She knows she'll lose no matter what she does. Mira looks up at him, and she's more resigned than anything. ]
... Okay.
[ Her voice is heavy. She turns away from him and goes to retrieve the knife, and when she returns to his side-- ]
What would be-- um. Easiest, for you?
[ She's not new to taking lives, but... she's never done anything like this. And the least she can do is try to make it not agonizing. ]
[ He seems to relax a bit when she agrees to it, and he nods slightly. This... wasn't how he expected things to go in the slightest, but... he's pretty confident that this is how it needs to be. ]
Whatever's good for you. I'm flexible. [ His candor returns, albeit a little more reserved. He eyes the knife in her hand, and looks back up at her. ] You are the featured performer, after all.
[ Because this is all just for show, right? Their lives don't matter, it's all just entertainment for the Professor, and her gods, and Cruxis, and whoever else is in the audience of this – ]
[ The featured performer... well, he's not wrong about that. It doesn't make her feel any better. All it does is remind her that she's always at the mercy of another, always a puppet on someone's strings--
Her hand shakes. ]
... It's not like I haven't done this before.
[ Done what? Kill someone? Yeah. That's part of it. The other part-- well. Zelos wouldn't be the first person she cared about that ended up with their blood on her hands. The only difference is...
[ He nods, a dark chuckle lingering somewhere in the back of his throat. ] I appreciate it.
[ Zelos sees her hand shake, and he reaches out, bridging the gap so they're fairly close together. His gloved hand goes on hers, trying to steady it. ]
Hey. [ His voice is quiet, and as reassuring as he can be. ] It's gonna be okay. You'll be fine, I promise.
[ His other hand goes up to her cheek, grazing it gently with his thumb as he gives her one of his signature wry smiles. The least he can do at this point is be what he thinks she wants him to be, right? Maybe it'll go easier this way. ]
[ She knows what he's doing. Mira looks up at him, and she doesn't look reassured at all. Zelos is far from an open book... but right now, she thinks she can read him pretty well.
What she does, though, is put her other hand on his and give it a squeeze. As she looks up at him, her expression is tired. There's something else behind it, though, just barely indecipherable.
Gratitude, if he's particularly perceptive. After all... he's doing this, and even if it's mostly out of selfishness, he's still doing something for her. ]
I'm not sure that's anything you can promise. [ It's because of her that they're doing this, after all. Her heart aches, and she decides to just...
rest her forehead, right against his shoulder. ] ... But whatever will be, will be. You're not wrong about that.
[ All he can give her is that same stupid smile he has in reply. He gets that tired look all to well, but it's hard to tell what else is there. ]
Ah, well. You can't fault me for trying, I guess.
[ Her forehead rests against his shoulder, and he tenses for a split moment. It's gone as soon as it comes, though, and his hand goes to the back of her head, loosely running his fingers through her hair. ]
Take all the time you need, Mira. I'm in no rush.
[ He's been waiting this long, what's a little bit longer matter? ]
[ She'd try, too, if she could. So caught up in her thoughts is she that when he brings a hand to the back of her head, she startles somewhat. She shouldn't appreciate that gesture, not when...
...
She looks up at him. Her hand tightens around the handle of the knife. He says to take all the time she needs, but if she did, she wouldn't go through with it. ]
... I know it's a terrible time to say this, but-- I'm glad we met, you know.
[ Zelos hums, dropping his hand. His smirk diminishes, into something shockingly genuine – something mirroring that weariness with a faint hint of something behind it that she just had.
He laughs at her comment. ]
Yeah, the timing kind of sucks, doesn't it? [ ... ] But I'm glad we met, too.
[ His hand goes down to her wrist, to help her steady her hand if she needs it. He's not sure what the logistics of this is supposed to be – if this counts as him pulling the trigger or not – but he figures this is the least he can do.
He nods, the ever-present smirk peeking through again. ] Ready.
[ It helps, his hand on hers. Mira takes another breath, and she nods. ]
Okay.
[ Her heartbeat pound in her ears, and she holds the knife tighter, so tight that her knuckles turn white. She can't look at him, not now. She doesn't back down, though. She pushes the knife into his chest, right at his heart.
It's not until moments later that she realizes she's crying. ]
no one will be seated during the part where zelos wilder bleeds out for nearly two months
[ Saying that it didn't hurt would be a lie, but it's actually surprising, as the knife slips between his ribs, that it doesn't hurt more. It makes things a lot easier, in this regard, if only for him. It's not really gonna matter a whole lot to him in a minute.
He makes a quiet sound as the air leaves his lungs, almost a shaky laugh. He keeps his one hand on her wrist, and the other one reaches up for her cheek, a gloved hand wiping at her tears, though it's getting hard to tell as his eyes start to lose focus. ]
Sorry. The last thing I wanted you to do is cry for me.
It's that gesture, the hand against her cheek, that breaks her completely. Mira draws in a sharp, painful gasp; that apology... It only makes her cry harder. Her legs feel like they're going to give out, and as she sinks down to the ground, she pulls him down with her.
Mira wraps her other arm around him, holds him close. ]
Don't-- don't apologize. Please. You have nothing to apologize for.
[ It takes barely any effort for him to get pulled down, sort of collapsing into her as she wraps her arms around him. Nothing to apologize for, huh. He's not entirely sure about that, but he's too tired to make a comment about it.
He's too tired to do much of anything, at this point, aside from lean against her shoulder as he bleeds out in her arms. ]
Haha, well... can't fault me for trying. [ ... ] Make sure... you take care of yourself, okay? You have to get out of here.
[ She doesn't stand a chance. But she isn't about to tell him that, not as she holds him close. She's going to have to do something about her clothes, but that's something she'll deal with later. Instead, she buries her face in his hair and tries to catch her breath. ]
... I-I will.
[ She's usually a terrible liar. But for him, she'll be convincing, just this once. ]
[ He makes a small noise in response, but doesn't say anything else past that. There's some part of him that knows he should've just been the one to leave, to not even have given her the chance to make that choice. But that selfish part of him would never let that opportunity slip, especially if it would give her a chance to succeed where he never would be able to. Regardless of how small the chances were.
And, as much as it made him hate himself more to think it, he was going to be dead soon, anyway. What happened past here wouldn't matter, at least to him.
But at least this is some small way to maybe make up for everything that he did. It'd never be enough, but maybe it was never going to. Maybe this is what needed to happen, regardless of how things played out. It's how things were going to end for him, even before this place, so why not make sure it did?
The last thing that crosses his mind as he falls slack against Mira's shoulder is about whether Seles'll be happier, now that he's out of the way. He exhales, and doesn't move again. ]
Edited (ok im done. rest in fuck zelos) 2021-09-20 05:05 (UTC)
[ --And then they wake up, when they shouldn't be anywhere. Mira wonders briefly if it had all been a dream, but it's not exactly difficult to realize how real everything had been. She swears her chest still aches from the impact of a sword through her heart, aches from seeing her brother wield it, aches from the memory of Zelos dying against her.
...
It feels as if the world's about to fall out from under her, and all she can do is sink to the ground and wrap her arms tight around her knees. ]
[ If this was some kind of joke, then it's a bad one. Because he isn't laughing.
Waking up in the same place that he just was felt wrong, like he didn't belong here. Because he didn't. This shouldn't even be happening, so why is he back in this facility when Mira –
Mira. He seems to have found her as he moved around the empty facility, trying to make sense of what the hell was going on. The uneasiness in his stomach only seems to get worse, as he silently prays that this is all some kind of big hallucination and not...
He kneels down next to her, that gloved hand on her back. When he talks, it's quiet, but just barely loud enough so she can hear him. ]
[ She doesn't notice that anyone's there until his hand lands on her back. She'd been certain that she was the only one here; she stiffens, and when she lifts her head--
If her legs didn't feel like lead, she'd be running. Instead, she looks up at him, eyes wide. A million and one thoughts race through her mind, but what she lands on is just one. ]
I'm sorry.
[ For inviting him there in the first place. For thinking there was even a chance that this could work, no matter how brief. For breaking her word. ]
[ The apology rips through him like no sword ever could, causing him to freeze. She's sorry? Shouldn't she be cursing him, making him be the one to apologize for dragging her through this mess? That he was using her for his own selfish ends, only for it to explode spectacularly in both of their faces?
He smiles, like he does, but his eyes aren't matching up this time as his hand slides up to her shoulder. ]
Hey. You don't have to apologize. This isn't your fault.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Which only makes him even more sure of this. Her saying no would've yielded the same result, admittedly, but he feels better about it. ]
I think I do, actually.
[ He mumbles it quietly to himself. He looks at Mira, and he sees his sister, he sees Colette... and it brings up years of bad memories and all the things he's done and the lies he's told, and... he's sure that this is what he has to do.
He was basically on the same path before he woke up here, right? The places and names change, but in the end, he's still the same. ]
Then we're getting you out of here. [ He doesn't even acknowledge her second sentence, continuing on. ] They'd never suspect that you'd be able to take me in a fight, so we need to make it look the part.
[ He swings the sword into some nearby shrubs for good measure. ]
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[ She stares up at him still. Her voice is barely louder than a whisper, but still loud enough for him to hear, this close. Her hands shake, too, but she doesn't try to hide it. It's not that she hasn't taken someone's life before. It's just--
...
She's not about to unpack that, to sift through her feelings and what they mean. It'd be a waste of time. Besides, what's the point? There is none, she realizes, and there's something about that thought that makes her feel hollow. ]
You know there's no way I can get away with this, right? The trial-- I can't... [ They'll always figure it out. They're smart. And Mira's never been good at deception. ] I can't tell you what to do, and I don't want to. But-- You have to know you'd just be throwing your life away for no good reason.
[ There's no fight in her voice, just resignation. ]
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[ His tone is light, despite what he's saying. It's not that he isn't taking it seriously, it's just... he's thought about it for so long that it barely registers as fucked up as it probably is. ]
What matters is what you want to do, Mira. You can still walk away from this.
[ He can chalk the damage up to him taking some much needed aggression out on some nonliving things, the group can chastise him as they normally do, and things can move on. If she's not okay with this, he's not going to push it any further than he already has.
As okay with dying as he is, he'd like her to at least believe she's going to make it out alive. ]
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Even if she walks away now, the fate that awaits her is always going to hang over her. If she walks away now, it'll only delay the inevitable. And maybe she'd rather take things into her own hands. ]
... You're really okay with this?
[ She's going to lose no matter what she does. Why not give more of a chance to survive and escape to those who have something better waiting for them? ]
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[ He can see her thinking a million miles an hour, turning over whether this is actually the right thing to do. The longer they wait, the worse it'll probably be in the end for her. ]
This all ends the same way for me, anyway. May as well be useful for a change. [ While making good on his own selfish and suicidal tendencies, but she doesn't really need to know that. ]
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Mira isn't happy about this. Far from it. She isn't delusional enough to think that she can get away with this, either. She's hardly the smartest person here. Even worse, she's pretty damn scared. But--
She knows she'll lose no matter what she does. Mira looks up at him, and she's more resigned than anything. ]
... Okay.
[ Her voice is heavy. She turns away from him and goes to retrieve the knife, and when she returns to his side-- ]
What would be-- um. Easiest, for you?
[ She's not new to taking lives, but... she's never done anything like this. And the least she can do is try to make it not agonizing. ]
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Whatever's good for you. I'm flexible. [ His candor returns, albeit a little more reserved. He eyes the knife in her hand, and looks back up at her. ] You are the featured performer, after all.
[ Because this is all just for show, right? Their lives don't matter, it's all just entertainment for the Professor, and her gods, and Cruxis, and whoever else is in the audience of this – ]
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Her hand shakes. ]
... It's not like I haven't done this before.
[ Done what? Kill someone? Yeah. That's part of it. The other part-- well. Zelos wouldn't be the first person she cared about that ended up with their blood on her hands. The only difference is...
...
She tries not to think too hard about it. ]
I'll-- I'll try to make it as quick as I can.
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[ Zelos sees her hand shake, and he reaches out, bridging the gap so they're fairly close together. His gloved hand goes on hers, trying to steady it. ]
Hey. [ His voice is quiet, and as reassuring as he can be. ] It's gonna be okay. You'll be fine, I promise.
[ His other hand goes up to her cheek, grazing it gently with his thumb as he gives her one of his signature wry smiles. The least he can do at this point is be what he thinks she wants him to be, right? Maybe it'll go easier this way. ]
Whatever will be, will be, right?
no subject
What she does, though, is put her other hand on his and give it a squeeze. As she looks up at him, her expression is tired. There's something else behind it, though, just barely indecipherable.
Gratitude, if he's particularly perceptive. After all... he's doing this, and even if it's mostly out of selfishness, he's still doing something for her. ]
I'm not sure that's anything you can promise. [ It's because of her that they're doing this, after all. Her heart aches, and she decides to just...
rest her forehead, right against his shoulder. ] ... But whatever will be, will be. You're not wrong about that.
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Ah, well. You can't fault me for trying, I guess.
[ Her forehead rests against his shoulder, and he tenses for a split moment. It's gone as soon as it comes, though, and his hand goes to the back of her head, loosely running his fingers through her hair. ]
Take all the time you need, Mira. I'm in no rush.
[ He's been waiting this long, what's a little bit longer matter? ]
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[ She'd try, too, if she could. So caught up in her thoughts is she that when he brings a hand to the back of her head, she startles somewhat. She shouldn't appreciate that gesture, not when...
...
She looks up at him. Her hand tightens around the handle of the knife. He says to take all the time she needs, but if she did, she wouldn't go through with it. ]
... I know it's a terrible time to say this, but-- I'm glad we met, you know.
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He laughs at her comment. ]
Yeah, the timing kind of sucks, doesn't it? [ ... ] But I'm glad we met, too.
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[ She shouldn't be feeling that warmth blossom in her chest. Not when she's about to take his life. Mira draws in a breath, then straightens up. ]
... Ready?
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He nods, the ever-present smirk peeking through again. ] Ready.
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Okay.
[ Her heartbeat pound in her ears, and she holds the knife tighter, so tight that her knuckles turn white. She can't look at him, not now. She doesn't back down, though. She pushes the knife into his chest, right at his heart.
It's not until moments later that she realizes she's crying. ]
no one will be seated during the part where zelos wilder bleeds out for nearly two months
He makes a quiet sound as the air leaves his lungs, almost a shaky laugh. He keeps his one hand on her wrist, and the other one reaches up for her cheek, a gloved hand wiping at her tears, though it's getting hard to tell as his eyes start to lose focus. ]
Sorry. The last thing I wanted you to do is cry for me.
f
It's that gesture, the hand against her cheek, that breaks her completely. Mira draws in a sharp, painful gasp; that apology... It only makes her cry harder. Her legs feel like they're going to give out, and as she sinks down to the ground, she pulls him down with her.
Mira wraps her other arm around him, holds him close. ]
Don't-- don't apologize. Please. You have nothing to apologize for.
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He's too tired to do much of anything, at this point, aside from lean against her shoulder as he bleeds out in her arms. ]
Haha, well... can't fault me for trying. [ ... ] Make sure... you take care of yourself, okay? You have to get out of here.
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[ She doesn't stand a chance. But she isn't about to tell him that, not as she holds him close. She's going to have to do something about her clothes, but that's something she'll deal with later. Instead, she buries her face in his hair and tries to catch her breath. ]
... I-I will.
[ She's usually a terrible liar. But for him, she'll be convincing, just this once. ]
plays my heart will go on at full blast
And, as much as it made him hate himself more to think it, he was going to be dead soon, anyway. What happened past here wouldn't matter, at least to him.
But at least this is some small way to maybe make up for everything that he did. It'd never be enough, but maybe it was never going to. Maybe this is what needed to happen, regardless of how things played out. It's how things were going to end for him, even before this place, so why not make sure it did?
The last thing that crosses his mind as he falls slack against Mira's shoulder is about whether Seles'll be happier, now that he's out of the way. He exhales, and doesn't move again. ]
im crying
...
It feels as if the world's about to fall out from under her, and all she can do is sink to the ground and wrap her arms tight around her knees. ]
no subject
Waking up in the same place that he just was felt wrong, like he didn't belong here. Because he didn't. This shouldn't even be happening, so why is he back in this facility when Mira –
Mira. He seems to have found her as he moved around the empty facility, trying to make sense of what the hell was going on. The uneasiness in his stomach only seems to get worse, as he silently prays that this is all some kind of big hallucination and not...
He kneels down next to her, that gloved hand on her back. When he talks, it's quiet, but just barely loud enough so she can hear him. ]
Hey.
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If her legs didn't feel like lead, she'd be running. Instead, she looks up at him, eyes wide. A million and one thoughts race through her mind, but what she lands on is just one. ]
I'm sorry.
[ For inviting him there in the first place. For thinking there was even a chance that this could work, no matter how brief. For breaking her word. ]
I'm so sorry--
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He smiles, like he does, but his eyes aren't matching up this time as his hand slides up to her shoulder. ]
Hey. You don't have to apologize. This isn't your fault.
i continue to change my journal
i collect all the miras into my big, strong pomeranian arms
i swoon
(no subject)
scuttles in like a horrible creechur
ME TOO
time to stab zelos again with the feels knife
links that one gif again
(no subject)